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RE: what do your children call their "relatives&qu... - 10/25/2008 9:01:14 PM
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zoebob
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I would say pick something you are comfortable with. I would not feel comfortable with my kids calling a co-hobitating GF or BF AUnt/Uncle/whatever. To me it undermines the morality I will be teaching my child.
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RE: what do your children call their "relatives&qu... - 10/25/2008 9:12:56 PM
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Lady_of_Faith
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Hmm, this is a good one.
I guess in most families if the couple have been living together for so long, the children naturally refer to them as 'aunt' 'uncle' whatever being if they're so young to not know the difference if they are married or not.
I guess the adults consider the 'common law marriage' practice, therefore making it 'ok' for junior to call uncle Lee's live in girlfriend 'Aunt' Sandy.
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RE: what do your children call their "relatives&qu... - 10/25/2008 9:34:29 PM
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Sideways
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For an extremely young child, I don't think they will know what live-in vs married means, and I personally would not want to make an issue of it with a very small child. You also have to consider that you could be creating a rift with your brother over this and alienating his girlfriend.
Yes, you should teach your child morals and they grow, but you need to decide how much this is worth to you, to take a stand in this particular fashion, because the price could be very high, all for having some questionable moral high ground. For me, it wouldn't be worth it. What I'm trying to say is that there are other ways to teach your child about marriage and purity without alienating your brother and his SO.
Plenty of folks are given honorary titles of Aunt and Uncle, even if they are not actually related. When your child is old enough, assuming they are not married, you can certainly talk to your child about the situation.
For the record, my husband's parents insisted they be grandma and grandpa  . My parents are called Nana and Papa. Siblings and their spouses are Aunt and Uncle, all others are Mr. or Ms. Name.
ETA: For the record, I come from a large family, I have several Aunts and Uncles who have the same first name. It's never been a problem.
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RE: what do your children call their "relatives&qu... - 10/25/2008 9:37:23 PM
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Consecrated2God
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My kids call their aunts and uncles by their first names usually. The grandparents are Grandma and Grandpa Lastname, except for the ones that share the same last names as great-grandparents. Then they are Grandpa Firstname and Grandma Firstname.
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RE: what do your children call their "relatives&qu... - 10/25/2008 9:39:33 PM
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artemis
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Sorry, I wasn't clear at all in the OP... we've already decided what we will do for our family. I was just curious how other people handle similar situations.
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RE: what do your children call their "relatives&qu... - 10/25/2008 9:41:37 PM
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Sideways
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What did you decide to do, Amy?
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RE: what do your children call their "relatives&qu... - 10/25/2008 9:48:50 PM
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nicole6598
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Sideways
For an extremely young child, I don't think they will know what live-in vs married means, and I personally would not want to make an issue of it with a very small child. You also have to consider that you could be creating a rift with your brother over this and alienating his girlfriend.
Yes, you should teach your child morals and they grow, but you need to decide how much this is worth to you, to take a stand in this particular fashion, because the price could be very high, all for having some questionable moral high ground. For me, it wouldn't be worth it. What I'm trying to say is that there are other ways to teach your child about marriage and purity without alienating your brother and his SO.
Plenty of folks are given honorary titles of Aunt and Uncle, even if they are not actually related. When your child is old enough, assuming they are not married, you can certainly talk to your child about the situation.
For the record, my husband's parents insisted they be grandma and grandpa . My parents are called Nana and Papa. Siblings and their spouses are Aunt and Uncle, all others are Mr. or Ms. Name.
ETA: For the record, I come from a large family, I have several Aunts and Uncles who have the same first name. It's never been a problem.
Yup I agree with that, you don't have to not use a name to teach your child about morality.
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RE: what do your children call their "relatives&qu... - 10/25/2008 9:51:02 PM
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artemis
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Sideways
What did you decide to do, Amy?
We're going to go with Aunt + first name because, like you said, it's not worth alienating my brother and his fiancee. Maybe by the time our little boy can talk, they'll be married  This isn't the first time my brother has thrown a fit about something like this... he takes any chance he can get to pick a fight. If he is a Christian, he is extremely back-slidden, and he claims everyone in the family picks on him because he has a different set of morals than we do. We pick our battles when it comes to this particular brother 
But the situation is bound to come up again, which is why I wondered what other people do with sort-of-relatives. I have three other unmarried brothers, so in the event that they date, get engaged and get married, we'll have to decide at what point to start calling their girlfriend/finacee/wife "Aunt." I keep telling my husband that at least we're working through this with my brother. What would we do if my widowed grandmother had a live-in-boyfriend?   
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RE: what do your children call their "relatives&qu... - 10/25/2008 11:47:36 PM
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Karaboo2
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Dh's mom and dad divorced eons ago. His dad remarried, as did his mom. His mom divorced that man (whom the kids had been calling Grandpa Firstname). She got involved with another man, and he became (at her request) Grandpa Firstname. Well, they broke up, and she jumped from guy to guy, and kept asking that the kids call them Grandpa Firstname. Finally the kids looked at her and told her they weren't going to call anymore people Grandpa, as 10+ grandpas are too much for anyone!!
So now unless the person has married into the family, they are simply Firstname (or Mr/Ms Firstname, depending on the age gap) We have a few really close friends who are Uncle/Auntie Firstname, but I can literally count those people on one hand.
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RE: what do your children call their "relatives&qu... - 10/26/2008 2:20:52 AM
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Mrs.X
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My best friend is "Auntie", but that's about it. My mom and dad are Grandma and Grandpa (well, Timmy couldn't actually say those for a while, so they were Mauga and Pompa). Robert's parents are Grandma and Grandpa (our last name). Although, it's kind of long...so I think we're going to ask my FIL how to say grandma and grandpa in Armenian.
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A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. -Proverbs 15:1
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RE: what do your children call their "relatives&qu... - 10/26/2008 9:21:33 AM
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creationtalk
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I haven't really had to deal with the "live-in" type issues since I live days from my family. Typically any non-family people are referred to as Mr or Miss [First Name]. My son always referred to his father's live-in gfs as Miss [name]...he still calls the new wife that.
Our issue was when xh married gf...my son asked me if he would have to call her Mama...first I asked him if someone had told him he should (because if so, I was going to tear a strip off them)...he said no, he was just wondering. So I told him that he did not have to call her that unless he wanted to, but if he ever decided that he wanted to, he could because nothing could change the special relationship that he and I have.
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RE: what do your children call their "relatives&qu... - 10/26/2008 12:38:52 PM
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IonMoon
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From: The Unted State of Confusion
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IME, the names just tend to work themselves out...
Our family names:
Grandma First Name, Pappy First Name; Aunt is used for my sister (no other siblings for myself or dh) and Uncle was used for her ex. She is remarried, they call her new dh by his first name (as do her kids, they were adults when she remarried). They also use Aunt/Uncle for the aunts & uncles of me & dh. Though with my aunts we sometimes drop the Aunt & just use first names.
My mom remarried only a few years ago, and the kids call her dh Bud (it is the name he uses, but not his given first name). My great niece calls him "Pappy Bud." Great niece also calls my sister's new husband pappy... don't know what she calls sister's ex's live-in fiance.
We didn't have any co-habitation situations when my kids were little, so it never came up. Once they were older and my mom & my sister were each living with a boyfriend, the natural thing just seemed to call them by first names, since when they all first met, they weren't yet living together, just introducing a "friend." And it would have just been weird for teens to start calling someone they had known by first name "uncle" or "pap" just because they moved in with someone (or even after they got married).
But... I agree that if someone had really wanted it, I wouldn't have made a big deal out of it.
My best friend from childhood and I tried to get our kids to call us "aunt" but somehow it never stuck.
Tara P
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RE: what do your children call their "relatives&qu... - 10/26/2008 6:54:57 PM
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Auben
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We did have live-in situations when my oldest son was very young but luckily my sister and her fiance (now her husband) didn't care much so he was Mr. (first name). They preferred we leave off the Mr. so eventually he was called by his first name until they got married. My son had no trouble making the transition then.
One family I know does something really cool. Her second husband is known as Morphar by her grandchildren. That's the Swedish name for a maternal grandfather. Her daughter tolerates it because it doesn't sound like grandpa (her father) but it also honors him for being a part of the family. He certainly treats all the grandchildren as his own.
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Hopefully the poor girl won't be confused when she gets older, lol. 
