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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/19/2009 9:42:25 PM
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heremainsfaithful
Posts: 180
Joined: 10/14/2009
From: Alabama
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I was kidding about the catnip. I would not do drugs/alcohol. I'm just trying to savor the vestigas of my tired out sense of humor.
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Jer. 29:11, II Tim. 2:13, Jude 24, 25
https://www2.xlibris.com/bookstore/bookdisplay.aspx?bookid=58896
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/20/2009 1:02:40 AM
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magdaleine
Posts: 4853
Joined: 4/11/2005
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heremainsfaithful, it's so good to see you here again! I wasn't sure we would. You seemed to have just disappeared after your previous posts. I agree with Manda. Please call your doctor. He/she needs to know what you're dealing with and there may be a way he/she can help you. You are NOT whiny and we are ALL weak. I understand the twisted comfort that suicide ideation brings. It's bizarre, isn't it? Please seek help! I don't know how much you've read of the posts before yours. My son took is life just over a week ago. He seemed fine to us and suddenly he was gone. SOMEONE NEEDS TO KNOW that you're struggling with this, more than us and more than your family.
It doesn't matter if you haven't been to church regularly. The pastor, if he's a good one, won't care. What he cares about is your well-being. He would be devastated to find out later, if you did take your life, how you'd been struggling but not told him. You MUST, MUST, MUST tell him and your doctor. Your husband too, if he doesn't know.
Molly, I'm glad you get to have your husband around a bit longer before he is deployed again. That's good news.
I've been extraordinarily tired. Slept for 14 hours today. I've been up for five hours and think I won't have trouble going to back to bed for the night. The grief hasn't hit yet, though I had the teeniest glimpse last night of the pain it will be when it comes. I'm not eager to go through it but at the same time I wish it would come so I could get it over with. We leave in a month for my ds4's wedding. I can't imagine getting much done between now and then and yet there are things that I have to do.
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Maggie
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Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/20/2009 8:55:03 AM
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heremainsfaithful
Posts: 180
Joined: 10/14/2009
From: Alabama
Status: offline
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I am so sorry about your son. So sorry. I think I am going to call doc today, if just to start some therapy again. H will graduate in May, but we don't know about jobs or anything yet.
I used to be such a soft person. Now I feel hard around the edges or something. Anger comes more easily than tears, and I don't like that. I just read a journal entry I wrote awhile back talking about self versus God. I feel like I am still at that same place - a foot in each (actually, a toe in God and everything else in self).
There are so many going through things on here, and each of us need God's strength and each other's prayers. I'm glad there is a Christian place to go.
_____________________________
Jer. 29:11, II Tim. 2:13, Jude 24, 25
https://www2.xlibris.com/bookstore/bookdisplay.aspx?bookid=58896
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Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/20/2009 9:39:19 AM
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PinkCarnations
Posts: 10784
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quote:
ORIGINAL: heremainsfaithful
I am so sorry about your son. So sorry. I think I am going to call doc today, if just to start some therapy again.
Glad to hear that.
quote:
H will graduate in May, but we don't know about jobs or anything yet.
You have my prayers.
quote:
I used to be such a soft person. Now I feel hard around the edges or something. Anger comes more easily than tears, and I don't like that. I just read a journal entry I wrote awhile back talking about self versus God. I feel like I am still at that same place - a foot in each (actually, a toe in God and everything else in self).
I think it's easy to get feeling that way about ourselves, but that doesn't mean it's true. Have you talked to others about what changes they've witnessed in your life? Sometimes they can give us a perspective that we can't see about ourselves.
quote:
There are so many going through things on here, and each of us need God's strength and each other's prayers. I'm glad there is a Christian place to go.
Me too.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/20/2009 10:52:51 AM
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magdaleine
Posts: 4853
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
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HRF, I'm glad you're going to see your doctor. Please take care of yourself and do what you need to do to stay safe and well.
_____________________________
Maggie
Civility Pledge
Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/20/2009 11:42:57 PM
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Bountiful
Posts: 786
Joined: 12/15/2008
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HRF, glad you're calling your doctor.
I think feeling "hard around the edges" or angry is a form of defense mechanism. We feel so weak when our illness gets the best of us that I think we compensate by being "hard" or "angry" or stoic or non-feeling. At the time it seems better than feeling soft and helpless. Don't be too hard on yourelf. You're reaching out for help and that's what you should be doing.
Keeping you in my prayers.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/21/2009 6:10:15 AM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 16638
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
Status: offline
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I am still dealing with a bout of anxiety. It always seems when I talk to someone who hasn't had this illness, that they just do not understand or get it at all.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/21/2009 7:00:04 AM
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IwillseekHim
Posts: 1757
Joined: 5/17/2009
Status: online
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You're right, humbleinspirit. Many people just do not understand those who are anxious. Sometimes I think I am not happy unless I am miserable worrying about something. Does that even make sense???
I am very thankful for forums such as this. I hope that you have a better day. Do you feel like you have been in a constant state of anxiety, or does it come and go in waves? Do you know what the source of your anxiety is, is it one particular thing or a combination of a few? I do believe that whatever it is, God can help you with it. I remind myself quite a bit that with Him on my side, I have nothing to fear. I think my anxiety comes alot from being fearful. I fight against that alot because doesn't the bible say He does not give us a spirit of fear? If it is not from Him then it must be from the enemy. I believe wholeheartedly that our enemy roams about seeking who he can destroy. When I am anxious, I feel like that is the enemy trying to steal my peace and joy. That is what drives me to pray, to praise and to tell the enemy to flee and take the anxiety with him. We are children of the Living God, may you be reminded of that today. God bless.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/21/2009 7:03:27 AM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 16638
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
Status: offline
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Good Morning Iwillseekhim! Lately it seems to be rather constant, that and my sensitivity to noise has been getting to me too. The anxiety does seem to have its highs and lows though.
Last night I was talking to a well meaning and good friend who just did not get as to why I was anxious. I told them I just am and they literally said I do not understand.
Iwillseekhim, I hope that things go better for you too.
Blessings,
Mike
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/21/2009 7:13:57 AM
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IwillseekHim
Posts: 1757
Joined: 5/17/2009
Status: online
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I know about the sensitivity to noise, too. When I am anxious, everything around me feels more sensitive and heightened to a larger degree. Did I read somewhere it was affecting your work, too? I struggle more at my job. I literally have went from loving my work to not wanting to be there. I have to make myself go sometimes and I hate that. I think this also has to do with being bipolar, I go from one extreme to the other.
Today is looking like a good day. It's Saturday so I am off. LOL. Hubby has come home from being out of town with his work. Kid's sleeping. I am gonna do my very best to have a good day and hope that you can do the same.
Speaking to those who can not understand your anxiety probally just makes ya more anxious! However, you have us. And, even more importantly you have God. Blessings to you, too, brother.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/21/2009 7:18:32 AM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 16638
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
Status: offline
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Honestly, it just makes me more annoyed. There is this attitude of just snap out of it! Well the fact of the matter is you can't! Its like tides of the ocean, it has to gradually change, but doesn't usually instantly at all. I did look up the noise sensitivity on the internet and it said that bipolar contributes to it among other things. I am doing ok at the moment, but work can be hard sometimes.
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(my humor can get pretty strange at times too; it goes with the territory). 
