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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/8/2009 2:32:12 PM
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a_sparrow
Posts: 626
Joined: 6/20/2006
From: Los Angeles
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I am having a very bad day.
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Elizabeth
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/8/2009 3:56:09 PM
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Mollymouser
Posts: 5180
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: california, land of the happy cows
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quote:
ORIGINAL: IwillseekHim
Harvie, if you have any suggestions on how to live happily without your husband while he is away, please feel free to share. I am having a difficult time with this. The week seems to drag by and then when he is home for the weekend the time flies. He will leave out today and I am truly dreading the thought of it all. Thanks.
For me, the nights and weekends when he's gone are the hardest ... during the daytime I just pretend he's at work. What helps me a lot is to send him chatty emails throughout the day, knowing that he will get them when he logs on to the computer. He's usually pretty good about responding (when he can) with emails and phone calls -- but that depends a lot on where he is, and time-zone issues when he's in Iraq or even across the country.
I try to focus on what he's feeling, and to pray for him. After all, he's away from me and away from home and often in unpleasant situations -- at least I'm tucked in safe in our happy little house with all our kitty cats and comforts, and he's either stuck in a war zone or a hotel room or barracks. I try to take a lot of photos and I email them to him, so he won't feel like he's missing out on day-to-day things at home. And I send him a lot of real mail, email, and care packages. I even watch for local news stories of interest to email him. Sometimes it can help to focus on him, and to shift away my focus on ME, missing him.
And I pray a lot.
< Message edited by Harvie -- 11/8/2009 4:03:02 PM >
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  MARRIED TO A MILITARY PILOT  PLEASE PRAY FOR OUR TROOPS!
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/8/2009 5:23:31 PM
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manda59
Posts: 8745
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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(((Harvie)))
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"Manda stole my answer" - bolt. March 2010
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/8/2009 6:16:21 PM
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magdaleine
Posts: 4936
Joined: 4/11/2005
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{{{{{{{{{Harvie}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{Roberta}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{Melissa w/cat}}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{Melissa w/o cat}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{Elizabeth}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{everyone else}}}}}}}}
I haven't napped today despite the little sleep I got last night. I stayed out all afternoon to keep myself away from my bed and now I have only about three hours till I could go to bed and expect to sleep through the night. I think I can manage that. My very good friend is having a surprise 50th birthday party for her husband today--a drop in thing. I should go but I'm not up to it. I made it to church and that's all I can reach today.
Dh is very angry. He actually TOLD me he's angry instead of blowing up at me but then he's not angry with me, it would seem. He's angry because ds3 got jumped and "beat up" by some early-teen thugs in the wee hours of the morning in an area that's supposed to be safe. He's also angry because when he offered (or agreed--not sure which) to prepare breakfast for the AGM of the camp of which he's a board member, he wasn't told certain information, such as needing to provide all his own cookware. I know the venue (my former church) and I don't see them having a problem with others using the equipment. I wonder if the person in charge has figured out that dh has been part of this board more for the things he can get out of it than sincerely wanting to help and is making things difficult for dh because of that. Dh thinks he's so hard done by but he puts way less into that camp than the other members of the board do. Sigh. I guess I have an attitude problem too.
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Maggie
Magdaleine's Maddening Imagings
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/8/2009 9:03:15 PM
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a_sparrow
Posts: 626
Joined: 6/20/2006
From: Los Angeles
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((Harvie))
((Maggie))
Maggie, it is awful that your son was assaulted. :(
Harvie, I think I could use one of those t-shirts today, particularly.
Dh and I had a hard time resolving differences today. Well, we didn't resolve them, actually. We are at a cafe now. I suppose the day could have ended on a worse note.
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Elizabeth
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/8/2009 9:53:22 PM
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magdaleine
Posts: 4936
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: online
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Thanks, Elizabeth.
I've managed to stay awake all day and be somewhat productive (on my computer). I over-indulged on the treats but I've also been sitting on my balance ball. It's a great way to stretch body parts without even thinking about it.
Well, I'm off to bed. Have a good night everyone.
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Maggie
Magdaleine's Maddening Imagings
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/8/2009 10:07:01 PM
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A-Mighty-Oak
Posts: 17122
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Formerly known as Humbleinspirit
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Melissa and Elizabeth, sorry that you both were having a bad day!
quote:
ORIGINAL: magdaleine
Mike, I'm sorry you had such a rough beginning to the week. I can just imagine how upset and nervous you were! I hope you find a better place to work. You've stuck with this job for a long time!
quote:
Mike, I'm glad you biopsy came back negative. Very good news!
Thank you Maggie! My boss has some type of problem dealing with people. When things happened on Monday, the bosses wife (who is also in charge) took me aside and told me that I do a good job 99% of the time and not to pay attention when my boss acts way that he does. She said if I really was a bad employee that he would fire me instead.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Bountiful
Sorry you've had such a lousy week, Mike. Your boss sounds like a real jerk.
I know how stressful doing rushes constantly can be. No doubt your boss constantly yelling doesn't help.
I worked in law firms for a long time. Almost everything seems to be a rush. In my field there was a ton of paper produced and of course everything had to be copied. We usuallyh had to do our own photocopying as well. Of course that's when the machines jammed, broke down or people were constantly cutting in. And of course everybody involved on the file are standing around jumping up and down like little kids that have to go to the bathroom. Grrrrrr  . I know how it goes!
Hope next week is a little better and that you'll hear something from the other places you've put your application in.
Thank you Edith, a real lot of the work that we deal with is legal documents also, such was the case last Monday. With attorney's usually being so thorough, I was surprised that they didn't mention anything about the one of the documents needing to be double sided until the second page.
quote:
ORIGINAL: a_sparrow
I don't like San Francisco's weather, but I love the city. I think my fear of earthquakes would prevent me living there, though - and it's way too cold for dh. Chicago I've only seen once, and that was mostly the train station. Not impressed, but I didn't give the place a fair shake. NYC I love and would live there again in a minute. I've never lived more than an hour away from a major metropolis. I don't know how I would adjust to that.
I've been to New York City several times. I have no desire to live there much less visit there again, although I still may soon as Amtrak has fares from Boston for only $98 R/T right now.
< Message edited by humbleinspirit -- 11/8/2009 10:14:44 PM >
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/8/2009 10:24:00 PM
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a_sparrow
Posts: 626
Joined: 6/20/2006
From: Los Angeles
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Not a bad fare at all.
quote:
I've managed to stay awake all day and be somewhat productive (on my computer). I over-indulged on the treats but I've also been sitting on my balance ball. It's a great way to stretch body parts without even thinking about it.
Well, I'm off to bed. Have a good night everyone.
I have been a real slouch about exercise for the past several years. Maybe I should look into getting a balance ball.
Hope you get some sleep, Maggie.
I am home, finally. Dh went back to his apartment. His mh issues and mine pretty much collided today, resulting in a wreck. (Metaphorically, I mean - just to be clear, there is no violence involved.) There are certain things that we can't work on together, and he takes that as rejection of him and his offers to help me. Maybe I should work harder to put my emotional stuff aside. I don't know. I don't seem to be able to do that. I certainly wasn't today.
quote:
My wonderful DH is working today and called a while ago to let me know that he may have to spend all of Thanksgiving week in Tucson. Well, that would be a bummer.
Wow, that would be difficult. Is there any way you could go to Tucson if that happened? If not, are there friends you could spend Thanksgiving with?
quote:
He's also angry because when he offered (or agreed--not sure which) to prepare breakfast for the AGM of the camp of which he's a board member, he wasn't told certain information, such as needing to provide all his own cookware. I know the venue (my former church) and I don't see them having a problem with others using the equipment. I wonder if the person in charge has figured out that dh has been part of this board more for the things he can get out of it than sincerely wanting to help and is making things difficult for dh because of that. Dh thinks he's so hard done by but he puts way less into that camp than the other members of the board do. Sigh. I guess I have an attitude problem too.
Maggie, maybe I'm talking to myself here. I see myself getting upset when I observe dh sabotaging himself, sometimes thwarting his own goals. I try to lecture him, hoping to change his thinking so that he'll behave differently in the future. Dh thinks this means I have no confidence in him as a leader and sometimes even that I am rooting for his adversaries. I end up even more frustrated than I was when I started. I've been trying to learn to "detach with love" in these situations and let dh be responsible for dh. I don't know that I'm succeeding (certainly lately I've earned a "D" or an "F" in this area), but it is my hope that I will move further and further in this direction. I believe dh and I would both benefit from this. Somehow, I thought of this when I read your post, because you sound really frustrated, too.
< Message edited by a_sparrow -- 11/8/2009 10:56:17 PM >
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Elizabeth
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/9/2009 12:00:50 AM
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Bountiful
Posts: 891
Joined: 12/15/2008
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Melissa (without a cat) sorry your husband has to spend so much time away from home right now.
Hope you get some sleep, Roberta and Maggie. Glad you have someone to help you out with the cooking Roberta.
Elizabeth, I'm sorry your weekend was such a dud. Your DH may get upset when you buy something, but there is a limit to how much his OCD should be allowed to affect what you do. Try and remember that. You can't be responsible for all his problems. Hang in there.
Melissa (with a cat) God's mercies are new every morning. I know it's hard when when God chooses not to answer our prayers the way we want. But you're right, let him ease the anxieties of your heart. (((hugs))).
Harvie, hope your headache goes away. It's wonderful how you work to keep connected to your husband when he's away. Like your friend's T-shirt  .
Maggie, glad Ds3 is OK after the dustup on his way home last night. Sorry DH is upset, but at least it's not directed at you. Not much consolation, I suppose, but better than none  . Don't feel too bad
about the attitude problem. Most of us have one.
Mike, I'm glad that your boss's wife at least balances things a little. Can you imagine how much fun it must be to live with him? So I guess there's always something to be grateful for  .
Have a good night everyone.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/9/2009 6:12:56 AM
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IwillseekHim
Posts: 2296
Joined: 5/17/2009
Status: online
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Thanks Harvie for the insight on how you deal with hubby's absence. I think I will stop trying to have my own pity party. Mine is just a minor inconvenience and pales in comparison to you. You have much more on your plate,dear. God bless your hubby for serving our country.
Mike, I hope that today is a better day for you with your work. Glad bosses wife was there to encourage you a bit. I am thrilled that I do not go back into work til Thursday. My office is closed for the other ladies to attend a conference. This will hurt my pocketbook a bit to be out so many days, but I definately need a break. Lately, it has become an effort for me to even go. And, I hate those feelings because I have worked there a long time(minus the year I moved away). I have managed to go from one extreme to another, loving the job then hating it. UGH!
For those of you who wondered did I continue to drive after seeing the head on, yes I did. I had to, I was on the island and had to get off of it with only one way to do it and that was to drive off of it.
I truly pray this is a new day for everyone. Hope everyone will do fine. For me, I look at it as a blessing and even with new challenges, I am called to overcome.
Blessings to all, melissa(without the cat)
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/9/2009 1:04:12 PM
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pink..
Posts: 11150
Status: offline
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praying for everyone.
bad day with lots of prayer needed.
_____________________________
Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin and an antiseptic.
~ John Henry Jowett
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/9/2009 2:23:02 PM
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a_sparrow
Posts: 626
Joined: 6/20/2006
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline
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((Roberta))
Anxious day, here. It is getting better, though, as I accomplish things at work. I am grateful that God is allowing me to accomplish what I'm accomplishing. When I woke up, I wasn't sure I'd be able to think clearly enough to work effectively.
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Elizabeth
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/9/2009 5:44:16 PM
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magdaleine
Posts: 4936
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: online
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quote:
Thank you Maggie! My boss has some type of problem dealing with people. When things happened on Monday, the bosses wife (who is also in charge) took me aside and told me that I do a good job 99% of the time and not to pay attention when my boss acts way that he does. She said if I really was a bad employee that he would fire me instead. Mike, I'm glad your boss's wife was able to reassure you. I agree with what someone else said--it must be hard to live with the man. You might pray for her on that score, every time he makes life miserable for you.
quote:
Hope you get some sleep, Maggie. Thanks, Elizabeth. I slept 15 hours last night and today. Got up about an hour ago. As I sit here, I'm thinking it would be easy to go back to bed but I'll hold off until later this evening. I'm sorry you had a bad day yesterday. That's rotten. {{{{{{{{Elizabeth}}}}}}}}}
quote:
Maggie, maybe I'm talking to myself here. I see myself getting upset when I observe dh sabotaging himself, sometimes thwarting his own goals. I try to lecture him, hoping to change his thinking so that he'll behave differently in the future. Dh thinks this means I have no confidence in him as a leader and sometimes even that I am rooting for his adversaries. I end up even more frustrated than I was when I started. I've been trying to learn to "detach with love" in these situations and let dh be responsible for dh. I don't know that I'm succeeding (certainly lately I've earned a "D" or an "F" in this area), but it is my hope that I will move further and further in this direction. I believe dh and I would both benefit from this. Somehow, I thought of this when I read your post, because you sound really frustrated, too. I didn't lecture him. He was too angry and, I think, too hurt to hear me even had I wanted to. In these situations, I try to be empathetic and listen. Everyone needs to be able to blow off steam in a safe environment. It isn't easy to watch someone we love sabotage themselves, is it, Elizabeth? In the end we have to let them make their own decisions and live with the consequences--not fun if those consequences affect us.
quote:
Maggie, glad Ds3 is OK after the dustup on his way home last night. Sorry DH is upset, but at least it's not directed at you. Not much consolation, I suppose, but better than none . Don't feel too bad
about the attitude problem. Most of us have one. Thanks, Edith. Yeah, at least dh's anger wasn't at me though, in the past, he would go around really angry and I wouldn't know his anger wasn't at me so this is an improvement, that he was able to state where his anger was directed. He just came home from work and seems cheery enough. Last night he said he wrote his resignation to the board. I wonder if he actually sent it in. And did he hand the cooking job over to someone else or not? I'll have to ask him when he comes back downstairs.
Melissa w/o cat, I'm glad you have a few extra days to rest away from work. Sometimes the rest is more valuable than the lost pay.
quote:
I was just think that if catless Melissa ever gets a cat, we'll all really be in trouble! (grin) LOL! It's nice, Harvie, that your friend could count on you for help when your neighbour needed a car in a hurry. You went to rake leaves while you waited? I would probably have been lying on the couch and I wouldn't have gotten dressed either! So, did you go back to bed?
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Roberta}}}}}}}}}}} I'm sorry you're having another bad day.
Elizabeth, I'm sorry your day has been filled with anxiety. I hope it's gotten better.
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Maggie
Magdaleine's Maddening Imagings
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Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/9/2009 5:49:42 PM
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pink..
Posts: 11150
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: a_sparrow
Anxious day, here. It is getting better, though, as I accomplish things at work. I am grateful that God is allowing me to accomplish what I'm accomplishing. When I woke up, I wasn't sure I'd be able to think clearly enough to work effectively.
((((Elizabeth)))) How did the rest of your day go?
((((Maggie)))) How is ds3 doing today?
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/9/2009 6:02:08 PM
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IwillseekHim
Posts: 2296
Joined: 5/17/2009
Status: online
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Ha, actually I am not really catless. I have one cat which totally looks identical to Agapetos' Munchie. Didn't want to confuse anyone so I don't think I ever mentioned it. I didn't choose to be a proud cat owner, she chose us. I learned the hard way to NEVER feed a cat if you don't want it hanging around your house. Now, she's learned which window is my bedroom and proudly wakes me up meowing bright and early. UGH! And, to make it even worse, she seems to be quite prowd of her stalking and preying instincts. Lately, she has left a dead frog, dead lizard, and dead mouse on my front porch. Whatcha reckon is up with this crazy cat???? I can do without her surprises. I came real close to stepping, barefooted on the dead mouse!
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/9/2009 7:05:28 PM
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agapetos
Posts: 9903
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: This side of the lil duck pond!
Status: offline
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quote:
Whatcha reckon is up with this crazy cat???? I can do without her surprises. Actually... she's bringing you gifts...
_____________________________
Stovie, Stovie, what am I going to do with you!
Maggie
September 09
My blog
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Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/9/2009 8:39:38 PM
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pink..
Posts: 11150
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: IwillseekHim
I came real close to stepping, barefooted on the dead mouse!
Another reason to like dogs better.
_____________________________
Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin and an antiseptic.
~ John Henry Jowett
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/9/2009 8:43:06 PM
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agapetos
Posts: 9903
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: This side of the lil duck pond!
Status: offline
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What, you think dogs won't kill things and leave them for you to find?
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Stovie, Stovie, what am I going to do with you!
Maggie
September 09
My blog
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