quote:

ORIGINAL: Reform_Dave

I used to really love U2 but due to over saturation on the radio i cannot stand to listen anymore. I swear the next time i hear that they "Still haven't found what they're looking for" i will take a hammer to the radio.

quote:

ORIGINAL: rawr.ben


Okay. Here goes.

1. Vertigo.

The only thing worse than U2 is a snobby U2 fan, and that's what was created as they got their own iPod commercial. Wow, you're on an iPod commercial? It was like every other iPod commercial, except Bono's face was lit up.

As sanctimonious as U2 tries to be, the reason their faces are lit during the commercial isn't because they're larger-than-life rock stars, but rather, because they're not. When was the last time U2 had a hit? Or a flop? Or anything for that matter? Their last major release was in 2000, an album which was so inconsequential that merely labeling it as such bumps it into a lesser category of sucktitude.

As for the "Vertigo" song itself, it's a mix of twangy guitars, unnecessary spanish, and Bono's stupid glasses.
I looked around on some U2 message boards to see what the fans were saying about this song and its turgid lyrics, here's what fan member "Bob" has to say:

"Vertigo actually has some seriously heavy lyric - but I bet most of mainstream radio listeners will never know what they mean - I love that! It makes me feel priviledged [sic] to know what the man has to say - there are so many invaluable messages in their albums, certainly this one will be another thought provoking and life influencing scripture."

Here's a sample of the "seriously heavy lyrics" in Vertigo:

"WoooAoo! WoooAoo! WoooAoo! WoooAoo!"

And who could forget this poignant verse:

"Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah,
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah."

2. Miracle Drug

When this album first came out, people wouldn't shut up about the hype that "U2 has made a triumphant return to its rock and roll roots." Triumphant? What exactly has U2 "triumphed" over? The only thing triumphant about U2 is their uncanny ability to produce the same cookie cutter sound that's slowly crippling originality and innovation on airwaves around the world. Congratulations you hacks, you've made FM radio unlistenable.

Yet another fan on a message board had this to say about "Miracle Drug:"

"I think that Bono turns pop culture upside down with the line "I've had enough of romantic love." "

Wow, how profound. Look out pop-culture! Bono has had enough of "romantic love." Here comes Bono and his idiotic fans to make ambiguous jabs at you.

3. Sometimes you can't make it on your own

*yawn*

The triumphant return to their rock and roll roots contained a teary-eyed song about his dad's struggle with cancer? Give me a break.

4. Love and Peace or Else.

If there was a list of things a pacifist should never say, "or else" would probably top it. Everything about this song is stupid. Love and peace or else? Or else what, you sissies? What are you going to do about it? Sing another crybaby song for your crybaby fans?

Can't you hippies just back off and surrender somewhere quietly for once without singing a song about it?

5. City of Blinding Lights

New age mysticism.

6. All Because of You

This is the one song on the album that U2's arrogant fans can't come to a consensus about. Some believe it's a song about life, some death, and others God. One thing I think everyone can agree on is: nobody cares.

7. A Man and a Woman

Great song, if you ignore the ho-hum music and the fact that "romance" doesn't rhyme with "distance." This song exemplifies the reason I hate songs with lyrics. Listen you dolts: if a song has a "message," then it probably doesn't matter because more often than not, song writers compromise their message for the sake of making a song that sounds good, or they compromise the music for the sake of pushing their shallow agenda. Maybe U2 wouldn't suck so hard if they stopped preaching and started rocking instead.

8. Crumbs from your Table

This song is about how America and its wealthiest people don't do enough to help solve world hunger. The title suggests that crumbs from our table could help starving people in Africa. Bono indicts America for being hypocritical with these lines:

Would you deny for others
What you demand for yourself?

Bono could not be reached for comment as he was stepping off his private jet and into his limousine.

9. One Step Closer

This sounds like the soundtrack of a coma.

10. Original of the Species

This song was supposedly written about the daughter of guitarist "The Edge." Yeah, that's his nickname: The Edge. I used to think names like "The Edge" or "Spike" were cool, but then I turned 12.

The only way I could ever respect him is if he shouted some stupid catch phrase before every concert like "WATCH OUT! THE EDGE WILL CUT YOU!"

11. Yahweh

This quote epitomizes U2's pious, holier-than-thou attitude:

"I don't know why, but we always had this belief that there was something sacred about our music, that it was almost holy." - Bono


Special thanks to Maddox for help with this post.

quote:

ORIGINAL: rawr.ben

It's. . . sardonic.

Relax. I still like you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mapachito13

I have come to notice that people either love U2 or hate them.

Most of those that hate U2, in my experience, I have found to be people who are anti-any group that they deem too popular and find their musical superiority in listening to, and being fans of, groups that are independent or virtually unknowns and, like musical gnostics, they revel in this "secret knowledge" of these lesser known groups.

BTW, rawr.ben, I am not applying this to you since I don't know you personally like those that I mentioned above. Music is definitely a personal choice and we all like different styles that speak to us. I have become more open-minded as I grow older musically. I have listened to more diverse styles in the last five years than I have in the previous four decades.

If a person as perfect as Jesus could have millions of critics, a rock group made up of four imperfect sinners will definitely have theirs.

quote:

ORIGINAL: stellaluna

I remember when U2 was alternative. Haven't listened to them since Achtung Baby. I think after that they became more and more irrelevant to their core fanbase. I think any popularity since then has been continued momentum of what they used to be...not what they continued to evolve into as a band.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ManimalX

quote:

ORIGINAL: mapachito13

I have come to notice that people either love U2 or hate them.

Most of those that hate U2, in my experience, I have found to be people who are anti-any group that they deem too popular and find their musical superiority in listening to, and being fans of, groups that are independent or virtually unknowns and, like musical gnostics, they revel in this "secret knowledge" of these lesser known groups.

BTW, rawr.ben, I am not applying this to you since I don't know you personally like those that I mentioned above. Music is definitely a personal choice and we all like different styles that speak to us. I have become more open-minded as I grow older musically. I have listened to more diverse styles in the last five years than I have in the previous four decades.

If a person as perfect as Jesus could have millions of critics, a rock group made up of four imperfect sinners will definitely have theirs.

Good post. The relativity of musical taste is a soap-box of mine Your description of those who only like unknown, "secret" music was way better than anything I have ever written. Musical gnostics. Classic.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ManimalX

quote:

ORIGINAL: rawr.ben

It's. . . sardonic.

Relax. I still like you.

Should we have muffins and coffee, or tea and biscuits?

quote:


I didn't realize "Maddox" was a "satirist". Still, his material is extremely offensive and you could have at least warned me before I made a fool of myself "rebuking" your post!

quote:

U2 may be blazing a one-band trail as it enters its fourth decade. When the biggest band on earth stages the biggest show in history, the question arises: Who will follow? There's no sign on the horizon of U2's heir apparent.

Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi, Kenny Chesney and the Elton John/Billy Joel match-up can fill stadiums in some markets, but only the Rolling Stones, a generation older, share U2's global demand and touring ambition, says Ray Waddell, Billboard's editor of touring.

"U2 is selling out stadiums around the world and breaking attendance records in the process. A lot of bands that have been around this long have peaked commercially, and that certainly does not seem to be the case with U2. Whether or not they achieve the greatness of past albums with No Line is debatable, but it would be hard to deny that they're trying. This has never been a band content with the status quo.

quote:

As sanctimonious as U2 tries to be, the reason their faces are lit during the commercial isn't because they're larger-than-life rock stars, but rather, because they're not. When was the last time U2 had a hit? Or a flop? Or anything for that matter? Their last major release was in 2000, an album which was so inconsequential that merely labeling it as such bumps it into a lesser category of sucktitude.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Reform_Dave

I used to really love U2 but due to over saturation on the radio i cannot stand to listen anymore. I swear the next time i hear that they "Still haven't found what they're looking for" i will take a hammer to the radio.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ManimalX

Mr. Evans (aka Edge) was selected as the 24th best guitarist in the history of music. I would put him easily in the top 10, but that is just me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: rockominal

quote:

ORIGINAL: ManimalX

Mr. Evans (aka Edge) was selected as the 24th best guitarist in the history of music. I would put him easily in the top 10, but that is just me.

I think it would be a good idea to perhaps leave the guitar out of this one. As a band, I can see they have a huge following. The songs or "anthems" , as I've heard them called, have certainly made their mark.
Let's just leave the guitar for another topic.

quote:

--Hit red button
--Flick Strum Bar
--Look around while special effects wail
--Fetch beer, open, drink, set down
--Hit yellow button
--Flick Strum Bar
--Wait while distortion noodles around
--Pick up handful of Cheetos, consume, lick fingers, wipe hand on jeans
--Hit red button
--Flick Strum Bar
--Wait on interminable sustain
--Answer door, pay pizza guy, open box, consume
--Rinse
--Repeat