Christian Women In or Out of touch? (Full Version)

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ash2009 -> Christian Women In or Out of touch? (10/30/2009 1:18:30 PM)

I am a christian woman and i notice that alot of young christian women are not living up to their TITLE ..I believe we should be examples in the way we dress (not with tight fitting Jeans) and the way we talk and above all how we relate to Men



herestoresmysoul -> RE: Christian Women In or Out of touch? (10/30/2009 2:04:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ash2009

I am a christian woman and i notice that alot of young christian women are not living up to their TITLE ..I believe we should be examples in the way we dress (not with tight fitting Jeans) and the way we talk and above all how we relate to Men

Totally agree and its not just young women either.We left our last church becuase of the way some of the girls and women acted and dressed. They were no different than women in the world, in fact worse sometimes. All you can do is set an example by being a godly young women who is different.



Focusing -> RE: Christian Women In or Out of touch? (10/30/2009 2:09:24 PM)

As a Christian woman I am to live to please the Lord. What I need to watch out for is living up to standards of other people ..... this can be a fine line with many. In my own church, there are Christian women who have no problems with how I dress or act, and there are Christian women who do have problems with how I dress or act.

As Christian women, we need to also be very careful in pointing fingers and expecting others to live up to our own opinions of what is or is not acceptable.



mrtigger -> RE: Christian Women In or Out of touch? (10/30/2009 2:13:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: herestoresmysoul
Totally agree and its not just young women either.



I will say the majority of women seem to dress & behave reasonably. But there are some that don't and they are not always just young women.



daughteroftheking718 -> RE: Christian Women In or Out of touch? (10/30/2009 4:14:16 PM)

I think that we don't live up to them wither because we don't know what they are or that we simply choose to ignore them. Honestly I do have some compassion for the new converts, because I was born again at 17 and have a hard time changing who I was to who I now am. However where are the examples and the models from previous generations? My mothers generation were the hippies where anything went and the previous generations before that were so stuffed up they had a lot of outward change but no inward reality. We need to dress with modesty(which i do), but they also need models and right now we are sorely lacking in those



linarette -> RE: Christian Women In or Out of touch? (10/30/2009 4:17:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focusing

As a Christian woman I am to live to please the Lord. What I need to watch out for is living up to standards of other people ..... this can be a fine line with many. In my own church, there are Christian women who have no problems with how I dress or act, and there are Christian women who do have problems with how I dress or act.

As Christian women, we need to also be very careful in pointing fingers and expecting others to live up to our own opinions of what is or is not acceptable.


Ditto...Especially the bolded parts!!!!

And there is a subtle double standard in some of the assumptions people make, fro example, if she is 'hot' (insert your meaning of hot here), "she may be hanging out with the devil, see the pitchfork!!", and if she is not 'hot', "poor girl, she should leave those outfits to others..."

Do people even bother to get to know others before placing judgments/making assumptions?

Where are the more mature ladies teaching/mentoring the younger ones?

I have noticed it is much easier/common to point the fingers and snicker behind people's backs when it comes to these issues...



teacher1982 -> RE: Christian Women In or Out of touch? (10/30/2009 6:28:36 PM)

Even sinners know what is Modest and what isn't. Tight jeans, low cut tops, low rider jeans, high waisted tops so that bellies hang out, short skirts, skirts too tight. All those things are obvious. Just go to a nightclub and see how those women deliberately dress to catch the eyes of men. Then go to church and look at the women who dress exactly the same. Can't be any question about who is Modest and who isn't.

Same thing goes for make-up (excessive) and even hair-dos. (Jan Crouch is a very good example of a woman who claims to be Godly and looks like a worldly woman). There are many others on TV and they are the worst examples to young Christian women.

If it offends my brother, I shouldn't do it.



herestoresmysoul -> RE: Christian Women In or Out of touch? (10/30/2009 8:01:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: teacher1982

Even sinners know what is Modest and what isn't. Tight jeans, low cut tops, low rider jeans, high waisted tops so that bellies hang out, short skirts, skirts too tight. All those things are obvious. Just go to a nightclub and see how those women deliberately dress to catch the eyes of men. Then go to church and look at the women who dress exactly the same. Can't be any question about who is Modest and who isn't.

Same thing goes for make-up (excessive) and even hair-dos. (Jan Crouch is a very good example of a woman who claims to be Godly and looks like a worldly woman). There are many others on TV and they are the worst examples to young Christian women.

If it offends my brother, I shouldn't do it.

Amen teacher. I am sure that any man will tell us what makes it hard for them to keep their eyes on a womens face and what doesnt. As you say we all know what makes a women be noticed and what makes a women look modest. We are not stupid.
Anything that is too short, see through,far too tight fitting, low cut etc is wrong for us.It is sad when women in some churches dont look any different from those outside. Arent we supposed to be different?. As women we know when a women is dreessing either to impress others or to get attention. Its clear as day.
As for the older women teaching the younger ones, it is a bit hard to do that when their parents are there with them and seem quite happy at the way their daughters are dressed (or not dressed).

Also at our last church the leaders admitted that there was a problem but did nothing and indicated that we werent to say anything oursleves. After a while when nothing happened we left. It just didnt seem right to me when a women was raising her hands praising God wearing a very short skirt, low cut top, high heels and most of the men are trying not to look or enjoying looking depending on the man.My husband spent most of the worship time with his eyes closed becuase of it, as he is very careful about what he allows himself to look at.



teacher1982 -> RE: Christian Women In or Out of touch? (10/30/2009 8:49:26 PM)

One time during the altar call, a woman was standing behind someone who was praying. She had on a short dress that was about 3" above her knees and 4" high heels. When she bent over to pray for the person, her dress went up even higher. Those of us who were still sitting in our seats just didn't know where to look. I sat there for a minute or two trying to figure out what to do and finally I got up, took my sweater and went and tied it around her waist from the back. The sweater covered the back of her legs. I went back to my seat and sat down and no one said a thing then or later - not even the woman.

The pastor was on the pulpit and didn't see how she looked to the congregation, but I don't know if he would have said anything to her or not. This woman happens to have grown children, so she is probably in her early 40's. Although she is tiny (probably a size 4 or 6), she was still dressed very immodestly.

As an elder woman in the church, I felt like I needed to do something and I did.

Although no one has said anything at all, the woman wears longer skirts now.



deermousie -> RE: Christian Women In or Out of touch? (10/30/2009 11:16:53 PM)

Welcome to the forum, Ash! [:)]

I agree with other posters: sometimes it's a matter of sanctification and learning to care about our brothers in the faith.

When I was a two year old Christian in my middle 20s, I got my first whiff of modesty and that I might not have it. So I asked a Christian brother what was the deal with low necklines.

He said a serious Christian guy wouldn't take a second look, but he can't help where his eyes travel because he doesn't know what he's going to see when he first sees a gal.

I've never worn a low neckline since.



herestoresmysoul -> RE: Christian Women In or Out of touch? (10/31/2009 5:47:11 AM)

Teacher, you were very brave to do that.I have felt like doing that a few times but havent had the guts.lol
As you said with this woman, it is often older women as well as young ones and they really should know bwtter. You cant tell me that that women didnt know that she was showing too much as she bent over.
Another problem I notice is that women who have a slightly low cut top seem to forget that when they bend over to pick up their children or something from the seat,they are them showing a LOT of cleavage.

Again at the last church we were at, The very first time we went a lady came and spoke to us. Well, we were sitting down and she was bending over the back of the seat in front. Well, she was a lady we found out who always wore a low cut top anyway, but as she bent over she was showing all she had and my poor husband didnt know where to look. She actually asked him if was OK as he seemed uncomfortable!!!He was, and becuase of her.Again she was in her 40's.
However the main culprit was a teenage girl who always came dressed as if for a nightclub. She was a committed Christian and her mother went to church also, but didnt seem to worry about how her daughter was showing most of her body. I dont get it myself. Its very selfish for the men who are trying to concentrate on God and there were quite a few teenage boys there who must have struggled.



bolt. -> RE: Christian Women In or Out of touch? (10/31/2009 12:07:06 PM)

quote:

alot of young christian women are not living up to their TITLE ..I believe we should be examples in the way we dress (not with tight fitting Jeans) and the way we talk and above all how we relate to Men


If young women are Christians, then they will be following their Lord and being formed by Him, according to His ongoing 'curriculum' for each individual... that's living up to their title. There are some things about the Christian life that pertain to jeans and the subtleties of inter-gender friendships. But there is much more to it than that. Much MUCH more.

If we really want to help Christian young women live up to their "TITLE" I think we can do more for them than majoring on the minors. If we don't want to know them, love them, or shepherd them... then, yeah, I guess the least we can do is take care to be a good example of Church fashion and refraining from flirting. Not that it's likely to do much good. Almost all young women write off older women that they perceive as stogy, so by our clothing we are well capable of taking ourselves out of the running for being an example at all. (To me, that's neither wisdom, nor leadership.)



DNP -> RE: Christian Women In or Out of touch? (10/31/2009 1:47:15 PM)

quote:

I dont get it myself. Its very selfish for the men who are trying to concentrate on God and there were quite a few teenage boys there who must have struggled.


"Lead us not in to temptation." It's a two way street. She should not dress that way in Church. Likewise the males could turn their eyes and heads slightly and not look at her for the rest of the service[;)]



herestoresmysoul -> RE: Christian Women In or Out of touch? (10/31/2009 2:53:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dnp200450

quote:

I dont get it myself. Its very selfish for the men who are trying to concentrate on God and there were quite a few teenage boys there who must have struggled.


"Lead us not in to temptation." It's a two way street. She should not dress that way in Church. Likewise the males could turn their eyes and heads slightly and not look at her for the rest of the service[;)]

Both are responsible but it is hard when she is standing right in front of them.(she always seemed to sit at the front of course) My husband had to close his eyes sometimes there, now why should he have to do that in church just to stop himself seeing things that he knows he shouldnt, when all he wants to do is praise God and learn more about Him.?
Women have a BIG responsibility in this area.



bolt. -> RE: Christian Women In or Out of touch? (10/31/2009 3:15:30 PM)

quote:

now why should he have to do that in church just to stop himself seeing things that he knows he shouldn't, when all he wants to do is praise God and learn more about Him.?

Because it is not the well who need a physician. Jesus came to seek and save the lost.

Because we are all works in progress.

Because closing his eyes neither hurts him, nor wounds him, nor costs him anything.

Because being put out by what sucks about other people, and taking it graciously is a sizable part of both love and humility. Your husband is doing the right thing because it is the right thing, for him and for her, and for the Church as a whole. Good for him and God bless him. I hope he doesn't resent it.



teacher1982 -> RE: Christian Women In or Out of touch? (10/31/2009 4:32:19 PM)

quote:

If we really want to help Christian young women live up to their "TITLE" I think we can do more for them than majoring on the minors. If we don't want to know them, love them, or shepherd them... then, yeah, I guess the least we can do is take care to be a good example of Church fashion and refraining from flirting. Not that it's likely to do much good. Almost all young women write off older women that they perceive as stogy, so by our clothing we are well capable of taking ourselves out of the running for being an example at all. (To me, that's neither wisdom, nor leadership.)


There needs to be a balance of both - NOT just one or the other. BOTH are extremely important and vital to living a life pleasing to God.



herestoresmysoul -> RE: Christian Women In or Out of touch? (10/31/2009 4:49:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bolt.

quote:

now why should he have to do that in church just to stop himself seeing things that he knows he shouldn't, when all he wants to do is praise God and learn more about Him.?

Because it is not the well who need a physician. Jesus came to seek and save the lost.

Because we are all works in progress.

Because closing his eyes neither hurts him, nor wounds him, nor costs him anything.

Because being put out by what sucks about other people, and taking it graciously is a sizable part of both love and humility. Your husband is doing the right thing because it is the right thing, for him and for her, and for the Church as a whole. Good for him and God bless him. I hope he doesn't resent it.

He doesnt resent it,he isnt like that, but we both agreed that it should have been dealt with by the leaders, and we did leave the church, partly for that reason.
We have been going to another closer church for 9 months now where the women are much better at how they dress.



Mollymouser -> RE: Christian Women In or Out of touch? (10/31/2009 7:01:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: teacher1982

One time during the altar call, a woman was standing behind someone who was praying. She had on a short dress that was about 3" above her knees and 4" high heels. When she bent over to pray for the person, her dress went up even higher. Those of us who were still sitting in our seats just didn't know where to look. I sat there for a minute or two trying to figure out what to do and finally I got up, took my sweater and went and tied it around her waist from the back. The sweater covered the back of her legs. I went back to my seat and sat down and no one said a thing then or later - not even the woman.

The pastor was on the pulpit and didn't see how she looked to the congregation, but I don't know if he would have said anything to her or not. This woman happens to have grown children, so she is probably in her early 40's. Although she is tiny (probably a size 4 or 6), she was still dressed very immodestly.

As an elder woman in the church, I felt like I needed to do something and I did.

Although no one has said anything at all, the woman wears longer skirts now.


Nice. [:)]



deermousie -> RE: Christian Women In or Out of touch? (10/31/2009 7:28:06 PM)

I think a lot of girls and young women innocently wear immodest clothing because it's "in" and they don't understand that guys' minds work differently than their own.

If young ladies get taught that guys are visually oriented to sexual excitement and she can help protect her brother by not wearing revealing clothing, I'm sure most would be happy to change their styles.



herestoresmysoul -> RE: Christian Women In or Out of touch? (10/31/2009 8:19:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: deermousie

I think a lot of girls and young women innocently wear immodest clothing because it's "in" and they don't understand that guys' minds work differently than their own.

If young ladies get taught that guys are visually oriented to sexual excitement and she can help protect her brother by not wearing revealing clothing, I'm sure most would be happy to change their styles.


yes this is why if their mums or dads are there with them,they need to say something to them about why it isnt a good thing.Sadly in my experience , they dont.



Corne -> RE: Christian Women In or Out of touch? (10/31/2009 8:25:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: teacher1982



Same thing goes for make-up (excessive) and even hair-dos. (Jan Crouch is a very good example of a woman who claims to be Godly and looks like a worldly woman). There are many others on TV and they are the worst examples to young Christian women.

If it offends my brother, I shouldn't do it.



I don't think looking silly is a sin.

Many women in the world dress and wear make-up tastefully so how do we define worldly?



herestoresmysoul -> RE: Christian Women In or Out of touch? (10/31/2009 8:35:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Corne

quote:

ORIGINAL: teacher1982



Same thing goes for make-up (excessive) and even hair-dos. (Jan Crouch is a very good example of a woman who claims to be Godly and looks like a worldly woman). There are many others on TV and they are the worst examples to young Christian women.

If it offends my brother, I shouldn't do it.



I don't think looking silly is a sin.

Many women in the world dress and wear make-up tastefully so how do we define worldly?

isnt it to do with not dressing to get attenton and being modest? I know that some women in the world dress fine but a large number do dress to get attention and also dress VERY immodestly. Its just seen as normal today and that is sad. Its perfectly normal and common to show some cleavage, wheras it wasnt a while ago.
You only have to see who is controlling the fashion industry and it definatelty isnt godly people.They are not interested in modesty or dressing to avoiding attention, quite the opposite.



Corne -> RE: Christian Women In or Out of touch? (10/31/2009 8:42:27 PM)

I'm not for provocative dress.



deermousie -> RE: Christian Women In or Out of touch? (10/31/2009 9:01:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Corne
Many women in the world dress and wear make-up tastefully so how do we define worldly?


It's a heart attitude toward knowing and pleasing God. It shows up in our relationships - and how we dress. It goes from the inside to the outside.



DNP -> RE: Christian Women In or Out of touch? (10/31/2009 9:37:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: deermousie

I think a lot of girls and young women innocently wear immodest clothing because it's "in" and they don't understand that guys' minds work differently than their own.

If young ladies get taught that guys are visually oriented to sexual excitement and she can help protect her brother by not wearing revealing clothing, I'm sure most would be happy to change their styles.

If a young woman with low esteem dresses "normally", in her mind, she may think she just blends in when everyone else. No men may ask her out or even notice her, she may think. She may observe that the more modest dressers receive little or no attention at all. If she dresses in revealing cloths she may notice that men actually what to be with her, ask her out and spend money on her. This of course reinforces her "dress code".

As for the Brother's, well, she really is not at all responsible if they become sexual excited. It is their choice. She is not making them stare at her. If they do in fact stare at her and get "turned on" in church; there are much deeper issues going on then her clothing. A diabetic knows better than eating the chocolate cookies at the church picnic. They can't blame the baker can they! [;)]



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