How do women take it when a guy says "Let's be friends." (Full Version)

All Forums >> [People] >> She Says



Message

StephenJ -> How do women take it when a guy says "Let's be friends." (10/18/2009 9:22:04 PM)

We usually have this discussion from the men's point of view on these boards. I'm curious though to see how women take it when a guy you like says "I see you as a friend" or "A sister in Christ" or any variation of those things.



LivingParadox -> RE: How do women take it when a guy says "Let's be friends." (10/18/2009 9:37:46 PM)

Usually means "I'm not interested but you're nice"....but never means there could be something "romantic between us" although guys sometimes like to take it that way when the phrase is used with them. If a guy IS a friend and also has romantic intentions he might act as friend but doesn't declare "let's be friends"...



MellyL -> RE: How do women take it when a guy says "Let's be friends." (10/19/2009 12:47:05 AM)

Most often, I take it as he is interested in getting to know me better, to see if there is a chance for a romantic relationship, however; it depends on what happened before he said: "Lets be friends." Have there been clues to make me think he is romantically interested in me? Did I express an interest in him? Is he a new co-worker that doesn't know anyone in town?

Here is an example: I have a "friend" that was trying to pursue me in a romantic way. I told him, I was not interested in dating at this point in my life...He then told me, he wants to be friends and, has invited me on several non-dates. He still drops hints that he "likes" me. I could totally be wrong but, the way I see it, I think he wants to be friends so he can convince me what a great boyfriend he would make and, hopefully change my mind.


Ohhh. I just reread the post so, I'll edit...If I a guy says: "I see you as a friend," or "A sister in Christ," and he knows I have a crush on him, I would take it as "back off, you are cool but, I am not interested so please stop looking at me as possible boyfriend and treat me as a brother in Christ."



car2ner -> RE: How do women take it when a guy says "Let's be friends." (10/19/2009 7:06:19 AM)

Same as above. Anytime I heard, "let's be friends" we didn't even end up friends, they disappeared. In fact the annoying thing is when I did only want to be friends with a chap, and thought we were only friends, if they gave me that line then we hardly ever talked ever again. Sheesh.



Elena1030 -> RE: How do women take it when a guy says "Let's be friends." (10/19/2009 11:14:30 AM)

I know, I know --- semantics. But... I don't think guys say, "Let's be friends." That sounds so... preschool. "Will you be my fwehnd?"

They say, "Oh, we're just friends." And that usually happens after you've already been conversing and relating, b/c of whatever circumstances caused your paths to cross. And either the gal asks the guy for clarity... or he has somehow picked up on the fact that either she is interested or she thinks he is interested... and he explains that he's not pursuing her for a romantic relationship.

I've not had this happen to me often. I've usually been the one to explain to the guy "We're just friends; I don't want to date you... ever."

The time it did happen -- it seemed as if he made his intentions (just friends) very clear before there was much of a reason for him to do so. His timing seemed premature to me. That didn't prevent me from developing a crush on him and feeding that crush for five years. (Stupid, stupid me.)

We did become friends, and we still are... but since he's dating a gal who also became a friend of mine, he and I aren't close anymore. (Which is how it should be... since I'm not his girlfriend.) And I'm totally over my crush. He's a good brother in Christ, and I desire God's absolute best for him.


I'm not opposed to be "just friends," but we're not gonna be confidants. We're not going to be buddies. I don't want a male buddy. I want a husband.



Liv4Him06 -> RE: How do women take it when a guy says "Let's be friends." (10/19/2009 7:02:49 PM)

I wouldn't take it too personal. I'd actually be relieved to know that he wasn't going to play games and give it to me straight.



Hadassah_ -> RE: How do women take it when a guy says "Let's be friends." (10/20/2009 9:16:58 AM)

"Ummm...okay? I thought we were." [sm=sadquestion.gif]



heremainsfaithful -> RE: How do women take it when a guy says "Let's be friends." (10/20/2009 11:24:42 AM)

I would take it to mean that there will be no romance, dating, etc involved. But I have a poor friend who thinks it means maybe someday.....Of course it never does, and she ends up heartbroken.



Focusing -> RE: How do women take it when a guy says "Let's be friends." (10/20/2009 1:01:23 PM)

I take it to mean "let's be friends". I don't read anything into it, I don't add anything more to or, nor do I take anything away from it.



Anon101 -> RE: How do women take it when a guy says "Let's be friends." (10/29/2009 5:12:49 AM)

You see her as a friend and nothing else. You are letting her know that you are not interested in being her boyfriend. You are down with hanging out with her as a friend but that is it.



BelleWeather -> RE: How do women take it when a guy says "Let's be friends." (10/29/2009 4:30:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: StephenJ

We usually have this discussion from the men's point of view on these boards. I'm curious though to see how women take it when a guy you like says "I see you as a friend" or "A sister in Christ" or any variation of those things.


I have no problem with friendship with men, but many men don't have a clue what being a friend to a woman means.

Friendship with women is not only about shared experiences, but about shared feelings, strengths, weaknesses, histories, opinions, questions, jokes, laughter, fears, petty minutiae...
a thousand things.

I am acquainted with a handful of straight men that can handle the pressure of being a honest friend to a woman.

When people play the "friend" card, there is a undercurrent of dishonesty involved. They cannot be honest enough with the other person (or themselves) about the nature and direction the relationship has taken. They are unable to end the relationship without resorting to dissembling, and making insincere statements.



Dakotasunbeam -> RE: How do women take it when a guy says "Let's be friends." (10/29/2009 11:10:31 PM)

He only wants to be a friend.



Prairiehiker -> RE: How do women take it when a guy says "Let's be friends." (10/31/2009 1:01:32 PM)

Context?



bricole77 -> RE: How do women take it when a guy says "Let's be friends." (11/1/2009 11:22:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: heremainsfaithful

I would take it to mean that there will be no romance, dating, etc involved. But I have a poor friend who thinks it means maybe someday.....Of course it never does, and she ends up heartbroken.


Aww:( Yeah I've come to learn if a guy is acting uninterested its usually because he's not. I know sometimes us women try and make something work when it obviously won't.



SSPearl -> RE: How do women take it when a guy says "Let's be friends." (11/6/2009 11:49:23 AM)

I take it as he wants to be friends and nothing more. That's why they say it.

I used to not be that way... I would get all girlie and over think the best and worst scenario's.

Now I just take it for what it is and if something happens in the realm of a boyfriend& girlfriend side of things fine..if not and we stay friends or end up not being friends fine. That 's how it's supposed to be.



Page: [1]



Forum Software © ASPPlayground.NET Advanced Edition 2.5 ANSI