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Suicide Support Thread - 1/16/2009 1:23:01 PM
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EclecticJoy
Posts: 14175
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From: Here . . . but subject to change; stay tuned
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I'm putting this, initially, in Miscellaneous. I'm sure it will get moved; but at the moment, I didn't know where to put this. I am a suicide survivor. What that means is that I have lost a loved-one to suicide (specifically, CS, my late-husband). There are other people, here in these threads, who also are suicide survivors. I have had communication with some of posters. There are also people, here in these threads, who have attempted suicide, but thankfully, they are still here among us. Thank You Lord Jesus! Again, I have had communication with some of these posters. The purposes of this specific thread: ❖ For those who are suicide survivors to come together to give and receive support and encouragement to and from each other. ❖ For those who are suicide survivors of another kind; those who have attempted suicide, but are still here. I think their input can be very valuable; and I hope that they, too, will come here to give and receive support and encouragement to and from each other. What this thread is NOT: ❖ A mental-health encouragement thread. There is an appropriate One-Stop thread HERE for mental health encouragement. ❖ Neither is this thread a debate thread as to whether suicide is forgiven. There is a thread HERE for that. ❖ Neither is this thread intended to be a replacement for obtaining trained help to work through these problems. The administration reserves the right to restrict any member for any reason at our sole discretion including individuals who are misusing the community in an attempt to obtain trained counsel. (Added by Admin.) Please note that the links to both threads, above, will direct you to the first page of each thread; not the last page of each thread. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ My hope and prayer for this thread is that for people who have been intimately involved in suicide - whether by loosing someone they love to such a tragedy or by trying to commit suicide themselves will have a safe place to tell their stories, relate their journeys, be support for others and continue to heal from their experiences. May Our Lord bless each of y'all - those who will silently lurk and those who will actively participate. HIS Peace and HIS Joy, Sharon-Marie
< Message edited by Fritzpw_Admin -- 1/16/2009 4:21:47 PM >
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I'm really Sharon-Marie. Really I am!
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RE: Suicide Support Thread - 1/16/2009 1:32:03 PM
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JustPeachy
Posts: 3341
Joined: 6/14/2007
From: the state of confusion
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SharMar, thank you for starting this thread. I will not post just yet what you and other friends already know about me, but I am here. I will try to formulate a post that will be clear and concise.
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Jeannie
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RE: Suicide Support Thread - 1/16/2009 2:16:23 PM
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stamper_ben
Posts: 7827
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Lone Star State
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Thank you for starting this. I too will have to post when my thoughts are more concise.
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In 20 years from now, you’ll be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Explore. Dream. Discover Mark Twain
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RE: Suicide Support Thread - 1/16/2009 2:28:40 PM
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Focusing
Posts: 4423
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Thank you for starting this thread Sharon-Marie. There is so much that can be said, and a lot of emotion comes to the surface in just talking about this. Some might think it's unusual to mourn over the death of my ex, but ... many years of marriage, watching him go through his depression (he was bipolar as well as clinical and suffering from other forms of mental illness which I will not get into in a public forum), experiencing the emotions which affected me and others who spent a lot of time with him, having a child together ... there are many things that stem from his suicide. There is a book I read, more than once, and have recommended to several others, the title is Contagious Emotions. It helped me deal with what I was experiencing as my then-husband suffered bouts of extreme depression. Those feelings are indeed contagious. I suffered from issues of depression as a result and took medication to help me for a number of years. I no longer suffer from the depression and stopped taking the meds after our separation and eventual divorce ... but the memories of those times have not been completely erased from my memory. Galations 6:2 tells us to bear one another's burdens ... I firmly believe that through the process of sharing difficult emotions, thereby allowing others to lift you to the Lord in intercessory prayer, is the first step towards healing. While you may not have the label of "depression" or don't want to think about it in those terms ... or you choose to view circumstances in your life as struggles or opportunities or challenges ... speaking it out to another helps to alleviate the burden you are carrying. It allows another to step in and help share in the weight of your burden. Jesus tells us at Matthew 11:30 "For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." While it may seem that is too easy to be true, I have experienced countless times through the process of humbling my heart and bringing my issues to Him, that this indeed is true! He has never failed to remind me what is really important in any situation. There are times when it's an instantaneous relief ... and there are times when it's so gradual I barely notice it. Probably more because I'm so focused on the "issue". But I persevere. Some call it stubbornness, but I know And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. - Romans 5:3-5 I love this visual! I believe it teaches so much. Tribulation/trials ... life is tough, no way around that Perseverance ... hang on, be stubborn, know He IS there, sometimes we just need to clean the windshield to see what He is showing us so plainly Character ... this is all strengthening us for His glory and His purposes Hope ... our hope needs to always be in HIM God's love is within our hearts ... that is so powerful and beautiful, He has given us His Holy Spirit to dwell within us, to strenghten us, to pray on behalf of us In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words - Romans 8:26 Can you even imagine? GOD IS PRAYING ON OUR BEHALF WHEN WE ARE SPEECHLESS ... this verse leaves me speechless. God ... the King of the universe, our Comforter, the Great Healer ... told us this because He knew there would come a time, many times, in our lives where we just don't even know where to begin to pray. He wants us to know how very much He loves us! Thank You, Lord!!! I love You so much!!! I am a huge believer in intercessory prayer. Anyone who needs prayer and posts here, know that I will lift you to the Lord in prayer ... On your walls, O Jerusalem, I have appointed watchmen; All day and all night they will never keep silent. You who remind the LORD, take no rest for yourselves - Isaiah 62:6 Now may the Lord of peace Himself continually grant you peace in every circumstance. The Lord be with you all! 2 Thessalonians 3:16
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. . . when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?
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RE: Suicide Support Thread - 1/16/2009 3:02:33 PM
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uncabeeil
Posts: 4694
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Joisey. Got a problem wit dat?
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Wow, what a post!
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Well, I guess you're wondering why I've called this meeting.
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RE: Suicide Support Thread - 1/16/2009 3:34:20 PM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 7654
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
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quote:
ORIGINAL: stamper_ben Thank you for starting this. I too will have to post when my thoughts are more concise. I second this. I too have dealt with life harshest blows like Jeannie but right now my mind is too focused on a house full of seventh graders this weekend. But thanks Sharon-Marie for starting this and know I will be thinking and praying about what words to speak.
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My chains are gone I've been set free My God, my Savior has ransomed me And like a flood His mercy rains Unending love, Amazing grace
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RE: Suicide Support Thread - 1/16/2009 3:40:07 PM
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Focusing
Posts: 4423
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Thank you. Anyone who reads this thread, and wants prayer, please please please feel free to either PM or email me. I would be more than happy to pray for you. I completely understand those feelings of embarrassment and desiring privacy, and anything you say and ask for prayer about will be held in the utmost confidence.
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. . . when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?
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RE: Suicide Support Thread - 1/16/2009 3:52:24 PM
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uncabeeil
Posts: 4694
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Joisey. Got a problem wit dat?
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Focusing Thank you. Anyone who reads this thread, and wants prayer, please please please feel free to either PM or email me. I would be more than happy to pray for you. I completely understand those feelings of embarrassment and desiring privacy, and anything you say and ask for prayer about will be held in the utmost confidence. Ditto.
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Well, I guess you're wondering why I've called this meeting.
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RE: Suicide Support Thread - 1/16/2009 3:54:04 PM
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karlie
Posts: 8826
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Central California
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quote:
In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words - Romans 8:26 I love that verse. I also love how when we're in the depths and can't even formulate a thought or a prayer, God calls out to His children to hold others up in prayer, sometimes when we don't even know why. I normally keep things like this very private, but felt the need to share here. About 20+ years ago, I was sitting in my livingroom and my brother came to mind...and not just in a normal way, but in an urgent way. I could almost feel panic rise as I heard the Lord say "pray, now". I had no idea what was going on, but knew in my spirit that this was something serious. It was quite awhile before I felt a release to stop. I had just finished praying when I got a call that my brother was in route to the trauma center, unconscious, with slit wrists. Even then, I was thinking it had to be some accident or something, the horror of suicide just didn't penetrate my mind at the time. I called the ER to see if he had arrived yet and when I asked if they had any more details, they said no, other than it being an attempted suicide. That hit me like a ton of bricks. It's hard enough to know the life of someone you love is in jeopardy, but when you know it's at their own hands, words can't describe how it breaks you. I honestly didn't know if my mother was going to make it through those first few days...she was so shattered for him, not even for his physical state, but that he had been hurting so much and we didn't know. After several hours of blood transfusions, being taken into surgery and prayers, they told us he would be "okay". I remember thinking how silly that sounded at the time. Okay?? Nothing about this was "okay". I learned two very important things though that. One, when God says hit your knees, or brings someone to mind, never, ever brush it away. My brother was found when a neighbor walked past his house and saw the door wide opened and went to see if everything was okay. My brother, to this day, swears he closed and locked all the doors. To make it even more amazing, the person who found him was a volunteer fireman, trained in first aid and emergency situations. I firmly believe God made a way for him to be found in time to save his life, and that was because of prayer. Second, I learned to be more aware of those close to me and not let the fear of "butting in" stop me from making sure they are doing okay if I sense a need. We knew my brother was depressed, although it never entered anyone's mind that it was this severe. Several times, I felt prompted to talk to him, but knew he hated people prying. I have always felt like I disobeyed God in that situation, and maybe I could have prevented a lot of trauma for our family if I had been obedient and gone to him with my concerns instead of not wishing to upset him. I am so grateful my brother is alive and he survived his attempt, but it's something that will always be with us. The scars on his wrists are constant reminders of the scars we all have on our hearts over this incident. Even my nephews have asked their dad about his wrists and so the sad event has had to be told to them. Still, God is good, and although some scars are eternally there, especially if we lost someone to the horror of suicide, our Heavenly Father soothes them with his love and mercy. I am so thankful our God loves us like that, and exchanges our brokenness for His healing.
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When we're at the end of ourselves, that's the place where God truly is.
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RE: Suicide Support Thread - 1/16/2009 4:16:13 PM
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Victory444
Posts: 44
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I, too, want to thank you for starting this thread. It was very hurtful for me to post about my painful experience, and then to read the thoughtless posts about me, even accusing me of "promoting suicide". I was misquoted, and mocked. I wanted to help others, and I got attacked and hurt for it. I am so grateful to you for starting this thread where we can share our hearts and heartaches without being ridiculed/verbally abused. I was thrust into a very traumatized state of mind by an incident with my husband that led to my suicide, and I am only alive now because of a true miracle, and rather than being so thankful that I am alive that he began treating me better, and being truly repentant because of nearly driving me to my death, he has treated me just like before, and if the subject of my suicide comes up, he feels sorry for HIMSELF. I have had to suffer for the past 13 years without ever being able to work through my pain. I am hoping and praying that we can all help one another here. I didn't realize just how NOT healed I still am, until I got the attacks on the other thread.
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In His Precious Love, Victory444 Psalm 118:17 & 18 "I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord. The Lord hath chastened me sore: but He hath not given me over unto death."
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RE: Suicide Support Thread - 1/16/2009 4:23:42 PM
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Fritzpw_Admin
Posts: 8431
Joined: 2/28/2005
From: New Jersey
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ADMIN'S NOTE :: ATTENTION PLEASE I added the following to the OP: Neither is this thread intended to be a replacement for obtaining trained help to work through these problems. The administration reserves the right to restrict any member for any reason at our sole discretion including individuals who are misusing the community in an attempt to obtain trained counsel. To be clear, this community should not be seen as a means to avoid obtaining the help of a trained counselor. Individuals who we feel are doing this may be removed from the community until a counselor sends a recommendation. Please do not reply to this message within the Community. Please email Community@salemwebnetwork.com with questions, comments, or concerns. Please do not send me PMs regarding this message. Messages which disregard the words in red will be removed without warning and the poster may also be banned.
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Fred "Fritz" Alberti Director of Social Media fritz@salemwebnetwork.com Read today's Bible verse from my favorite online Bible
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RE: Suicide Support Thread - 1/16/2009 4:29:50 PM
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Focusing
Posts: 4423
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(((Victory))) I will share what I told Victory in a PM after she shared about her suicide in the other thread. My ex had committed suicide before we ever met. Three doctors pronounced him dead in the ER. And, yet, he lived many more years. I was unaware of all this, nevermind the details and the depth of what had happened, when we were dating, and it wasn't until we had been married a number of years before I realized something was "wrong". I knew nothing about depression at the time, and it was so confusing to me. I am so proud of Victory and support her for being so transparent in sharing her story. That took a lot of guts!! I pray that through prayer and support that she receives from the gentle hearts here that she is able to continue healing.
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. . . when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?
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RE: Suicide Support Thread - 1/16/2009 4:38:37 PM
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Focusing
Posts: 4423
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(((karlie))) Thank you for sharing. quote:
when God says hit your knees, or brings someone to mind, never, ever brush it away You are so right! When God tells us to pray, we need to pray!! quote:
be more aware of those close to me and not let the fear of "butting in" stop me from making sure they are doing okay if I sense a need Amen!! It's been over a year now since I made the post, I don't know if it's still around, but it was a little along those lines. When we ask someone "how are you?" ... do we listen? Do we see the expression on their face? Do we sense something isn't "fine"? "Fine" is the expected answer ... but there is so much more to a person's words when we pass them in the hallway. If someone looks stressed, I will say a quick little prayer ... Lord, please give them strength, please give them encouragement, give them a little peace of mind, show them a little something that will make them smile as only You know how to do ... something that will bless them. Never underestimate what God can do.
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. . . when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?
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RE: Suicide Support Thread - 1/16/2009 5:33:02 PM
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pink..
Posts: 11142
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Thank you SharMar for starting this. My mother made many suicide attempts while I was growing up. I have made several myself. I don't have time to share my story at this time, but I did want to thank you for reaching out to others in this way.
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Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin and an antiseptic. ~ John Henry Jowett
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RE: Suicide Support Thread - 1/16/2009 5:54:23 PM
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Victory444
Posts: 44
Status: offline
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Thank you, too, Focusing and WhiteRoseBlessing. After reading what the Moderator said, I am kind of afraid to say much more. I have been so abused by churches and Christian counselors,( but, that is another story)...I gave up on getting helped that way. I have been studying and seeking answers as God has led me.... I have found a lot of answers, but, I have been in need of people who can truly understand and who actually care. This thread feels like what I have hoped for. Before I found the successful method, I was accused of talking about suicide, and attempting it in order to "get attention". I never could understand why my ex-sister-in-law would say that, because that never got me any positive kind of attention, especially the kind that I did need, and that was never my reason for it. I guess when I seriously went through with it, I proved that I honestly wanted to die, NOT get attention. I was mostly dealing with a family curse that I mentioned in the other thread...from my grandmother. I know that I will never try that again. For one thing, I have decided that no man is worth that! Now I am hoping that we survivors can help the "lurkers" get a clue!!! When a person talks about suicide, abusing them for it is NOT the answer!!! It seems like there are people who, when they see a person who is hurting enough to want to commit suicide, find pleasure in trying to see if they can push them into doing it. We definitely "do not wrestle against flesh and blood..."!!! ******************************************************** I had to come back and add this... It is too funny... As I was writing my post, the above post was posted... with THIS in it... "Living above with the saints we love That indeed will be glory Living below with the saints we know That's another story!" I feel that I should share right here what happened to me back in the 80s...long before my suicide in 1995... The reason I chose the scripture I chose for my "signature" is because the Lord gave it to me in an incredible way. I opened my Bible at random one day, and I looked at the page this scripture was on, and it had a rectangle of light on it causing it to stand out to me. I believe this should be comforting to those of you who have attempted suicide, and are still here. This is why you are still here... Edited to remove some of the asterisks that are stretching out the page
< Message edited by Kath -- 1/17/2009 2:23:33 PM >
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In His Precious Love, Victory444 Psalm 118:17 & 18 "I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord. The Lord hath chastened me sore: but He hath not given me over unto death."
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RE: Suicide Support Thread - 1/16/2009 11:42:04 PM
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Abbreviated
Posts: 1922
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Kansas
Status: online
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Suicide is a heavy topic. At first I couldn't recall being affected by a suicide. Then I remembered while in college a friend of my parents killed himself. He left behind a wife & 3 kids. It is hard living in the last days when good is called evil. I find myself yearning for the rapture. It is hard living in these earthly tents when our home is elsewhere.
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1959-20__ Who are you living your dash for ? Jackie
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RE: Suicide Support Thread - 1/17/2009 9:30:16 AM
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sparkleingsnow
Posts: 4725
Joined: 1/9/2007
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SharMar, I think this thread is a great idea. And what a wonderful safe place for people to be able to talk about this. And heal. Focusing your post was so powerful! God bless you. I don't concider myself a suicide survior or victim. But I do think I understand to some degree the pain that brings someone to that point. You see a few years ago, I was in a very deep depression. I had injured my back and was told that I could never work again. Gone was the job I loved so (nursing). Gone also was my only means of supporting my three children (teenagers at the time). I had worked so hard to go to school after my divorce, to be able to do a job that not only would support my family and provide a home for my children but where I could feel that I could help others. Now all gone. Fear of loosing my home, bill collectors, worry about how to buy food for my family. It seemed like everyone else around me had a husband to help them through, but not me. I shunk into such a deep dark hole, where there was no joy. No hope. I reminber sitting in the bathroom and looking over at a knife that was laying on the hamper and thinking it would be so easy to end it all. That thought scared me. What would happen to my children? I didn't even trust myself to pick up the knife and put it away till later. Praise God that He brought me from that very dark and painful place to where I am today, by slowly, gently drawing me back ever closer to Himself. Closer than I had ever been before. (I had kind of put Him on the shelf while I was trying to work and raise my family.) And has given me strengh, and self-worth, and purpose, and has tought me so much about love. I hadn't thought about this in years, and I'm not sure why I'm sharing it now, except to say that I due understand to some degree, and my heart goes out to all of you. (Or perhaps I needed to for myself, I don't know.) Our Lord and Saviour loves you so very much. Like SharMar said, life is hard. Thank God we don't have to walk through it alone. There's an old song "Love lifed me". That's what happen to me and I pray that for you also.
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The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. Psalms 18:2
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RE: Suicide Support Thread - 1/17/2009 10:40:53 AM
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EclecticJoy
Posts: 14175
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here . . . but subject to change; stay tuned
Status: offline
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As some of y'all know, I have written quite a few posts about the after-effects of my late husband taking his life . . . HERE, in my blog," Teton Rambler". CS battled chemical depression the vast majority of his life. At the time of his death, in addition to some serious chemical depression, he was also experiencing deep emotional trauma. Additionally, a few days before he died, we had gone to the doctor in an attempt to determine if there were some physiological reason to explain the severity of the chemical depression. There were also things that I had started to notice about him that I wanted to explore with the doctor. That was on a Thursday. The doctor, who had been CS's doctor for years, mentioned some tests that he wanted done to rule out 3 specific illnesses. One of them was prostate cancer, the other one was Parkinson's Disease and I've since forgotten the third one; but all 3 of them were pretty serious. I was looking at CS when the doctor said, "Parkinson's." That was more upsetting to him than the other two possibilities. CS's 2nd wife died from complications arising from Alzheimer's Disease. The last 2 years of her life were a literal hell for both of them. They had been married for 22 years when she died, and he loved her very deeply. The combination of chemical depression, emotional trauma and a possible physical illness was too much for him. It was, in fact, a deadly combination. We were supposed to go for the testings the following Wednesday. However, the following Wednesday never came for CS. Two days prior, on a Monday, he got up, took a shower, fed the cat, put on a jacket, hugged and kissed me, told me he would always love me, walked out the door, got on his bike . . . and never came back. He left the house at 7:15am. They found his body at 7:37am. He had planned and prepared for his suicide the night before, while I was sleeping. In his note he left for me, he started out by saying that the pain of the depression had become more than he could bear. He also alluded to fear of living a life where he couldn't take care of himself. In-between the lines, he mentioned the emotional trauma that had so devastated him. In one mere moment, this wonderful man had ended his life . . . and for quite some time, he had also ended mine as well. Only, my heart was still beating, my lungs were still breathing, and my mind and soul were now shattered. It is truly the most horrific thing I have ever had to walk through in my entire life. The only way that I did even begin to walk through it was via Our Lord. HE carried me. Through a very deep, dark and frightening abyss. Through the past almost 4 years, I have, at times, been very angry with CS for what he did. I knew I was going to be. In fact, anger was my initial response, within seconds of hearing that he was no longer alive. I also have shed many tears over contemplating the depth of pain that my awesome husband was feeling to have done such a thing . . . to himself, to me and to everyone else that loves him. I try not to ask "why?" too often. There will never ever be any answer, here on earth, that will satisfy me, and when I get to Heaven, the question will be completely moot. But for here, now . . . as I walk through my earthly journey, I carry with me a deep scar. Our Lord covers that scar, and He has been so very good in comforting me and protecting me and healing me; and for that I praise His Name! Sometimes, I can walk a long ways before I need Our Lord to carry me again; sometimes I can't even bear the thought of doing this on my own . . . which is a good thing that I will never have to. It's a continuing circle that I cannot imagine being able to travel without Our Lord in my life. .
< Message edited by WhiteRoseBlessings -- 1/17/2009 10:49:53 AM >
_____________________________
I'm really Sharon-Marie. Really I am!
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RE: Suicide Support Thread - 1/17/2009 11:15:03 AM
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sparkleingsnow
Posts: 4725
Joined: 1/9/2007
Status: offline
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WhiteRoseBlessings, I just read your post about your husband. (((Hugs))) Oh Father, thank You for holding SharMar up. For carrying her when need be. For strengthing her. And for useing her through her pain to help others. Father, we each need You so. We each have such a long way to go. Thank You that You go with us each day. Thank You that You help us in ways we don't even know. Thank You that You love us so. In Jesus name. Amen
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The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. Psalms 18:2
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