|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
Login  | |
|
Why my heart is not listening very well? - 11/3/2008 10:36:54 PM
|
|
|
Strongheart
Posts: 2
Joined: 11/3/2008
Status: offline
|
I met him in one of the events of my church,when I noticed he was looking into my eyes.for a brief moment I didn't know what to do,we looked away and I move on,but after that day i couldn't take him off my mind...Weeks later I found that he was pastor's son,so i tried not to talk with him because I knew the kind of friends and life that he had,but not too long,I was thinking about him again,and sometimes I said to Jesus'he even doesn't know my name','why on earth am I thinking about him'?
But until that time my heart was clearly stable,but when I went to another trip of my church,he was there and believe me I tried not to notice how funny,kind,handsome and humble he was....That broke my defenses.
I tried do not think about him anymore,but the more I tried to forget,the more occasions and events in our churches brought us together,and beside none of us say a word to each other,something was going on,the looks with too much interest,and...that is what I thought,what a imature and silly feeling!So I decided not to think about him,or even talk about it anymore,and believe me I prayed a lot for that,asking strength,grace,acceptance,wisdom.
After three or four months he was invited for my leader to preach for the youth of my church!This wasn't happening,not again...But the worst was about to come,his girlfriend was by his side,and I wanted to run fast and quick,but I was bringing my disciples to the service,that day I worshipped God with a broken heart,and weary smile...I was angry and disappointed with the situation,with him and his girlfriend,and I had to endure the whole night looking at his handsome face!
At the end of the service he for the first time tried to speak with me,I refused because I didn't want that he could be able to see my tears,he was looking at me in a way that made me feel so lost...
Now,what I need to do,even when I'm struggling for not to think about him,because he has a girlfriend and I now that is wrong want him now,but even when I pray for strength,wisdom,happiness-his face,his smile returned to my mind?
Why I'm not getting to be happy at the fact that Jesus is with me,even now?
< Message edited by Strongheart -- 11/3/2008 10:48:44 PM >
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why my heart is not listening very well? - 11/4/2008 9:05:53 AM
|
|
|
Szaftoo
Posts: 795
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: So. Calif.
Status: offline
|
If he has a girlfriend, he is clearly off limits, even if they aren't serious. It does not appear he has given you any encouragement other than being polite.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why my heart is not listening very well? - 11/4/2008 9:18:46 AM
|
|
|
pbaribeault
Posts: 1091
Joined: 4/29/2005
Status: offline
|
You are not happy to be content with Jesus' love for you because you are created for a variety of kinds of relationships... and Jesus isn't so romantic. It's not a flaw in your spiritual life and you don't need to beat yourself up over it.
You also don't need to be harsh with yourself over your attraction to a nice young man. You don't need to squelch your feelings and forbid your thought life. You do need reasonable limits and reasonable thoughts to answer yourself with.
Start with this one: "I am attracted to <Boy>. He's good looking and he seems to be a good and godly guy overall."
Then answer: "I'm glad that I like good guys, that will keep me safe and lead me to a happy marriage. <Boy> is a good guy, but he's taken. I can keep looking."
Do you think about his good qualities? Good! You need to get together an understanding of what you value in a guy.
Think of it in a dispassionate way. "When <Boy> did that, my heart just melted... I could see that he was showing <humility>. Humility is a virtue that I value deeply, and God's word says, <whatever about humility>. Lord, teach me humility and lead me eventually to a man who has that quality."
Do you think a lot about his looks? That's a difficult one. Eventually you will realize that it might be nice to get good looks along with good character in a guy... that it's just icing on the cake and what you really need is someone wonderful through and through.
Tell yourself, "Some of the guys God made fit the standards that this day-and-age considers good looks. That's just coincidence. I like it, but I don't need it."
Do you think in detail about a future together? You do need to squelch that one. Dedicated Christ followers do not wish to live with any "good" that comes from unethical actions and/or other's pain.
Instead: Think about married life in general, if you must, but without a specific husband in mind. Remind yourself that it's not happening, and feel free to feel sad about it as you let go of that hope.
Do you feel sad or angry about his girlfriend? Do you feel angry at her? That's OK. Your feelings are real. You don't want to wallow their forever, but it's fine that you have hurt feelings. Acknowledge them and seek God's comfort.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why my heart is not listening very well? - 11/4/2008 9:20:48 AM
|
|
|
Simway
Posts: 58
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
|
You should let this one go. Sense there is another women in his life, he is in some ways spoken for. If at some point you find out they are no longer interested in each other. then you may stand a chance with him. But don't count on it, it could be a long time coming, and even if it does, he may not be that intersted in a relationship. Simway
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why my heart is not listening very well? - 11/4/2008 10:06:48 AM
|
|
|
deermousie
Posts: 1943
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: online
|
Pbaribeault nailed it, Strongheart - please listen closely to his words. I apologize in advance if Pbaribeault is a woman; I have a terrible memory. Sorry!
Here's how I figured it when I was single and wishing I weren't: we are commanded to marry other Christians, and I assume half the world's population is male so figure there are maybe 2 billion Christian males on this planet. Some are too young to marry, some are too old, many are already married. So let's assume that there are 500,000 available guys (I'm just guessing for the sake of building a framework). If you wish to marry an American (it's easiest to marry someone from your own time zone, just so there are fewer differences to bug you) let's say there are 200,000 available American Christian males, or 50,000 from your time zone.
How do you know which one of those 50,000 has your name on him in God's will? (It bugs me that people don't come with little name tags. "Hi! I'm so-and-so, and I'm going to lead the next Billy Graham to Christ and marry Susie Smith"  ). You can't give your heart to each one and then be disappointed over and over - you'd have no heart left by time the right one showed up.
49,999 of those guys are your brothers and you can bless them with being kind to them, praying for them and so on. You'll have to wait until one gets to know you and asks you to marry him before you want to give him your heart (assuming it's obvious he's God's will to be your husband).
I've told my marriageable-age daughter to assume all single guys are just her brothers, and to protect her heart and treat each one like... a brother.
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why my heart is not listening very well? - 11/4/2008 10:24:05 AM
|
|
|
pbaribeault
Posts: 1091
Joined: 4/29/2005
Status: offline
|
Yes, deermousie, pbaribeault is a woman. (But thanks for the affirmation of my post)
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why my heart is not listening very well? - 11/4/2008 12:25:37 PM
|
|
|
raivyne
Posts: 1010
Joined: 8/28/2008
Status: offline
|
Excellent post pbaribeault (and deermousie as always)
_____________________________
P.U.S.H. – Pray Until Something Happens
What if God is asking us for a sign?
Knowledge is proud; wisdom is humble.
Patiently waiting for my KSA
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why my heart is not listening very well? - 11/5/2008 12:49:35 PM
|
|
|
Strongheart
Posts: 2
Joined: 11/3/2008
Status: offline
|
Thank for the message,but your story made me laugh,I can say that you were very embarassed when you found out....
Yes,God has someone for me out there...
God bless you...always.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why my heart is not listening very well? - 11/6/2008 12:38:36 AM
|
|
|
saraimay75
Posts: 8102
Joined: 5/11/2005
From: Wherever God plants me.
Status: online
|
I found out because he and his wife were doing a testimony about their marriage which the filmed and showed to the church, So, it wasn't really embarassing at all.
_____________________________
God love admiration . . . I think it annoys God if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it.
~Alice Walker~
http://360.yahoo.com/saraimay75
|
|
|
|
 New Messages |
 No New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/ New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/o New Messages |
 Locked w/ New Messages |
 Locked w/o New Messages |
|
 Post New Thread
Reply to Message
Post New Poll
Submit Vote
Delete My Own Post
Delete My Own Thread
Rate Posts |
|
|
Forum Tools
Printable Version
