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When do you know? - 10/28/2008 2:42:38 PM
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Mslott
Posts: 3
Joined: 10/28/2008
From: Georgia
Status: offline
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Hello Forums,
I love this website!!!! I visit it atleast five times a week...the articles are always a big help.
My question.......How do you know?
Ha-pretty broad right!
Its a long story, but of course deals with dating. I met this guy back in Feb. we locked eyes and it was all down hill. The next 5 months were like a dream come true. We learned so much from each other and enjoyed each others company so much. We started making future plans...looking at houses together for when we got married. We ened up buying a car first due to I was needing one.
Well, his job moved him 2 1/2 hours away. Due to his move, he ended things. I have always believed in God, but this event has def. brought me closer. God is doing some heavy work on both of us right now. Thank goodness I have turned to him because I would be going crazy. Its been three months since we broke up. We keep in touch and have seen each other a few times. It just goes in circles with us!
I know God has a plan and purpose, but what do I do when I long for him everyday. When I try to move on but I feel God wants me to wait. Does he want me to wait in pain? It hurts how much I miss him and it fustrates me! I'm thankful everything else in my life is GREAT!
How do I know what exactly God is trying to tell me to do?
added knowledge: of course there is more to the story. I am 26 he is 28 and this is his first serious relationship. I have been in two 3 year relationships, but they didn't get this serious.
Thanks in advance for the advice :-)
Have a blessed day!!!
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RE: When do you know? - 10/28/2008 3:17:47 PM
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supernova1976
Posts: 67
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline
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He will give you a sign that is so specific, that you cannot deny it and you will know it in your heart.
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RE: When do you know? - 10/28/2008 9:53:37 PM
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levimichal
Posts: 51
Joined: 10/9/2008
From: Christiansted, Virgin Islands live in Minneapolis
Status: offline
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From what you had said it seems like you guys were rushing it trying to run to marriage. You did not say during you relationship you put God first. During courtship the conversation does not veer towards planning a wedding it has to be about growing and making sure that you are always grounded and not infatuated. It seems like you put your boyfriend before God because of how devastated you were. Remember what the bible says "guard your heart". You should cut off all contact with the guy and focus on God and growing as a Christian. Ask yourself before all things am I glorifying God or am I trying to glorify myself.
I am 24 I am single and am waiting, with the help of God more patiently as time goes on. After reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Choosing God's Best I have put my trust in God. If I can trust Him to save me I can trust Him to resolve my heart's longing for a biblical Godly marriage.
< Message edited by levimichal -- 10/29/2008 8:36:53 AM >
_____________________________
Levita Michal Ayala Goeloe
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RE: When do you know? - 10/29/2008 12:13:30 AM
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deermousie
Posts: 1946
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: online
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This ^^^ Levimichal nailed it.
P.S. What did you do with the car?
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: When do you know? - 10/29/2008 12:44:10 PM
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deedeeowens
Posts: 89
Joined: 6/10/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Mslott
Hello Forums,
I love this website!!!! I visit it atleast five times a week...the articles are always a big help.
My question.......How do you know?
Ha-pretty broad right!
Its a long story, but of course deals with dating. I met this guy back in Feb. we locked eyes and it was all down hill. The next 5 months were like a dream come true. We learned so much from each other and enjoyed each others company so much. We started making future plans...looking at houses together for when we got married. We ened up buying a car first due to I was needing one.
quote:
Well, his job moved him 2 1/2 hours away. Due to his move, he ended things. I have always believed in God, but this event has def. brought me closer. God is doing some heavy work on both of us right now. Thank goodness I have turned to him because I would be going crazy. Its been three months since we broke up. We keep in touch and have seen each other a few times. It just goes in circles with us!
I know God has a plan and purpose, but what do I do when I long for him everyday. When I try to move on but I feel God wants me to wait. Does he want me to wait in pain? It hurts how much I miss him and it fustrates me! I'm thankful everything else in my life is GREAT!
How do I know what exactly God is trying to tell me to do?
added knowledge: of course there is more to the story. I am 26 he is 28 and this is his first serious relationship. I have been in two 3 year relationships, but they didn't get this serious.
Thanks in advance for the advice :-)
Have a blessed day!!!
Lots of people survive long distance relationships. Why did he end it?
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RE: When do you know? - 10/30/2008 11:07:34 AM
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Mslott
Posts: 3
Joined: 10/28/2008
From: Georgia
Status: offline
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I know.....why can't we have all the answers? Thanks for the advice, I'm working hard on this. Meeting with the preacher next week :-)
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RE: When do you know? - 10/31/2008 3:03:10 PM
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Psalms274
Posts: 2243
Joined: 8/13/2005
From: Georgia
Status: offline
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I am pretty sure everyone's story is different. I know people who were friends forever, and never even thought about the other in "that way," yet in God's time, He brought them together. I know others who dated for years and years before they "knew" and made that commitment, and some who knew right away and married quickly.
I cannot tell you how I knew, because I am still single,  ... but I can tell you what my mom shared with me about my dad. My mom and dad knew each other for less than 6 weeks when they were married. I thought that was the craziest thing I ever heard ... but it is a cute story, and I will tell you my mom's answer at the end.
They met briefly at a wedding of a mutual friend. Mom didn't think anything of it ... in fact forgot about it. She was a cigarette lady at the time, this was back when they didn't know cigarettes were bad for you, and my dad would come to her stand everyday to buy cigarettes. She just thought he was another customer.
One day he called her and asked, "Why don't you like me anyways?"
Surprised by the question, she stated, "But I don't even know you!"
He said, "I buy cigarettes from you every day and you don't talk to me."
Her response, "But I can't flirt with a customer!"
She had a friend who knew dad. Her friend encouraged her to go out with him because he was a really nice guy. So she did.
Their first date, dad didn't want her to know he was blind as a bat, so he didn't wear his glasses. He ran into a truck full of chickens ... chickens all over the road. (At this point in the story, I asked her .. "and you went out with him again?!" She told me, "Karen, we just knew ... there was no doubt.")
Two weeks later they were having dinner. Dad said to her (apparently he was too afraid to ask  ) "pick a day out of the next month for us to get married, or it 's off." (My dad was actually very shy and I think he was afraid she would say no so he took command.) Startled ... she picked the last Saturday of the month ... 40 years later, as I watched my dad die of cancer, my heart was breaking for me, but so much more for my mom ... it was so hard to watch her loose the love of her life.
Part of the reason was they "knew" was they were both ready to make a commitment. That readiness is so important, because there will be days when you wake up and wonder as you look at your spouse, "What in the world was I thinking?"  But because of that commitment to see through the bad times, the good times are so much sweeter ... and as you grow old together you will find that you cannot imagine a life without the one you chose to share it with. My mom and dad were incredibly in love, right up to the end ... because they knew that when they said "I do" it meant forever. It was the readiness to commit for both of them that was the key to "just knowing."
It is also important to let him take the lead ... do not manipulate your circumstances, just lift it to God ... He knows what is the very best thing for both of you.
My mom and dad had a story that was just theirs, just as you will someday. In the meantime I would suggest that you cling to the Father and trust whatever He decides in the matter, because it will be the very best thing.
_____________________________
I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.
Linus, my dog, little Kaleigh and Sally!
http://piswa.blogspot.com/
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RE: When do you know? - 10/31/2008 3:35:23 PM
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novitiate
Posts: 92
Joined: 3/9/2008
Status: offline
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I believe you already know the answer to your question. God's timing and ours are usually on a different schedule. You met someone that intrigued you and went racing ahead. I cannot say if you rushed or not, as we have seen each person's tale will differ. But I'm willing to bet in your heart you know if this moved too fast and if you should have slowed down and enjoyed each season together growing and becoming better acquainted.
As someone previously mentioned, readiness is the key. The separation that has occurred may have been inspired by the Lord to prepare you both to walk hand in hand or to do so with another. Nonetheless I have found that when I wrestled with a situation and have prayed on it as well the discomfort is usually associated with an answer I'm seeking that I have not received. Alas it is very difficult to cast your cares when you're wanting a certain response instead. Who's will do you desire in this most of all - yours or the Lord's?
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God took my deficits and made them my offering.
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RE: When do you know? - 11/5/2008 4:58:59 PM
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Coffee2Go
Posts: 6
Joined: 11/4/2008
Status: offline
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I'm afraid I didn't read all the other comments, so forgive me if I repeat what other people are saying.
It's completely normal to miss you someone you've bonded with so quickly. That's a good thing. It means this person means a lot to you.
On the other hand, it sounds like the both of you MIGHT (I say "might" because people fall in love and become committed to one another in a variety of circumstances) be rushing into things. It's great that you're excited, but I personally think the best time to get married is when a couple feels so comfortable with one another, distance does not cause a great amount of distress (and there should be a distinction made between distress and missing someone).
To that end, there's a level trust involved here. If you feel uncomfortable and anxious, it's most likely not the time to get married (pre-wedding jitters are normal, of course).
Anyway, see if you and your boyfriend can make a long distance relationship work. It doesn't sound like it was a clean break-up.
Lastly, try to think about what you and your boyfriend are willing to sacrifice to be together. I have a friend who had a VERY similar situation with your own, but instead of 2 1/2 hours away, the distance was 4 TIME ZONES away. They continued being committed to one another over that distance for a year.
Finally, my friend made plans to move. He gave up his job and all his material possessions (literally; we shared an apartment and he left ALL of his furniture, clothes, and DVDs- he only took two suitcases with him) to DRIVE across the country and be with his love (who, incidentally, made sure he had another job secured). They've been together for two years, and are now engaged.
< Message edited by Coffee2Go -- 11/5/2008 5:05:22 PM >
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RE: When do you know? - 11/5/2008 5:53:03 PM
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fairychild
Posts: 3
Joined: 11/5/2008
Status: offline
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I agree completely, relationships are tricky and usually pretty complicated. But all the advise given is great!
-Gigi
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