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Perplexed - 8/27/2008 5:38:09 PM
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kmckamey
Posts: 1
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline
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My fiancee and I were to be wed on 8/16. We have been together for 5 years and have a 2 year old son. A few weeks before the impending day she informed of a curiosity she had in bondage and discipline and has since gotten deeply involved in a BDSM website. Within about 10 days of sharing this information with me she called of the wedding and has all but completely ended the relationship. My son (from my first marriage) and I are currently living with a wonderful family from our church. I believe the Lord is telling me to hang in there that he is working on her, because everytime I decide I am going to walk away, he puts on my heart that I should not go. I am very committed to S and walking thru this fire hand in hand and saving our relationship and family. When she kind of ended it she came up with all kinds of crazy reasons, blaming faults and quirks of mine; most of which she had never discussed with me. I am confused, perplexed and exhausted. I need prayers for a miracle of restoration for our relationship so we can work thru this and get married. I don't believe that it would be in God's will for us to raise our son in never married relationship or in a broken home. Open to any advice and comments.
Link removed TOS 14
< Message edited by Kath -- 8/27/2008 11:31:42 PM >
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RE: Perplexed - 8/28/2008 9:44:55 AM
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Szaftoo
Posts: 813
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: So. Calif.
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The Lord's will is not for believers to be unequally yoked in relationships. You need to focus on having your son in a healthy environment and move on. You cannot change her or her behavior, only the Lord can do that through prayer.
Thank God this happened before you got married.
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RE: Perplexed - 8/28/2008 10:13:19 AM
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deermousie
Posts: 1896
Joined: 9/26/2007
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I'm sorry for your broken heart, Kmckamey. It must really hurt, and your disappointment must be great.
She sounds terribly unhealthy. Better for your son to grow up with you than with someone who might twist the truth and show perverted morals to him on a 24/7 basis. He's just a helpless little guy.
As someone looking in from the outside, I think God gave you what is called a Severe Mercy - you got hurt to protect you from something even worse. Your description of this young lady reeks of illness, mentally and spiritually.
Instead of asking God to restore your relationship with her, may I suggest that you pray that 1) God heals her and brings her back to a right relationship with Him and 2) that God works His perfect will in your life, whether it's eventually with her or something completely different. Give Him free choice to do whatever He wants in your life - it's guaranteed to be good (see Ps. 84:11b)
That you guys had a son demonstrates that you both were out of God's will - sex outside of marriage is called fornication, and God condemns it:
Mark 7:21
For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders (Jesus said this)
Ephesians 5:3
But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints
Colossians 3:5
Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry
Not to hammer you but show you that God says this shouldn't be in the lives of Christians (don't take my word for it; look them up in your Bible).
God has a good plan for your life, and I encourage you to seek it. Read your Bible every day (and read stories to your little son) and ask God what to do. Tell Him that you repent of fornication and purpose to not repeat it - marriage will meet your needs and bring God's approval. Ask God to give you the wife of His choice, and may you be blessed. Talk to your pastor, or if you don't have one, go find a good church and talk to the pastor there; I'm sure he'd be glad to help you (it's his job to help others).
I am praying for you and your son and the financee today. God bless you.
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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