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Is this a concern for women? - 1/31/2010 4:01:51 PM
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walkbygrace
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I was just reading the thread "why do women wear make-up." Thayt's not my question. But in that thread I saw answers from women that I kinda expected....they look better with it....they want to feel pretty....it's a habit and ....young girls mark the passage from child to womanhood with it. I completely understand all of these answers. And some women dye their hair blonde. Here is my question....if you meet a man and fall madly in love with him and marry him are you at all concerned that when you let your hair down and take off your make-up that you will look totally different to him? Is this a concern for women? Hopefully, the man you marry will marry you for who you are as a person, but is it right or fair to do so many things to your appearance that a man can't really know what you really look like?
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RE: Is this a concern for women? - 1/31/2010 4:17:17 PM
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hotsaucygma
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Make up usually doesn't really change what you look like, it just makes you look a little more polished or "finished". Most husbands still get what they see while dating every day, except perhaps right before bedtime when women clean their faces prior to going to bed.
People may change, gain weight or whatever, but that is not limited to women - men change with time as well.
If I ever marry again, he will get what he sees - give or take a few lbs from time to time and a few wrinkles as I age, etc. I have no intention of ever not wearing make up and may or may not ever stop coloring my hair.
_____________________________
Arrogance boasts. Confidence is quiet, it has no need to boast.
Wisdom from an email I received a few days ago.
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RE: Is this a concern for women? - 1/31/2010 5:55:03 PM
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rgod
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Well, I would think that if I were going to marry someone that during the course of dating there would be times when he'll see me with no makeup. Maybe I'll be sick one day and he'll come over to check up on me, or I might be working in the yard, or maybe he'll come over one morning before I've had a chance to put my makeup on. I think it is good to have someone see you at your best and worst during courtship or dating - that way they can get to know the real you.
But I don't wear a lot of makeup anyway - just a little lipstick, powder, and eyeliner. With makeup I look like me, only better. I don't color my hair yet, though there are a few grays. And my hair is natural - I don't even have a perm or weave. I don't wear or need any body enhancements even when I'm thinner. Now that I'm heavier, I do wear a body shaper from time to time depending on what I'm wearing. (They are so uncomfortable that one day of wearing it is ample incentive to diet and exercise!) Pretty much with me, what you see is what you get so I might be biased in my response.
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The Way Out Is In
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RE: Is this a concern for women? - 1/31/2010 6:02:46 PM
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herestoresmysoul
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Woman who wear a lot of make up do look very different without it, so yes that could be an issue if she hadnt let him see her without it before.
I am sometimes shocked at photos of famous people when you see them without their make up and hair done. They look so different.
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RE: Is this a concern for women? - 1/31/2010 7:25:34 PM
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walkbygrace
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Yes, 3capp...maybe worrying about this stuff is silly and I am glad for you that you have someone who isn't going to make an issue out of it for you. That's good. I've never married and I was wondering about this issue or if it even would be an issue. I don't know. And yes, heresto...I know exactly what you are talking about when it comes to the stars. I saw some pictures of stars without their make-up and they look totally different. If I were to see one of these stars without their make-up walking down the sidewalk I might not even recognize who they were at all. I use to know a girl who was a receptionist in a small ad firm. She would see models coming in for their magazine photo shoots. She pointed some pictures out to me and said, "she doesn't really look like that." I guess the models would come in first thing in the morning without any make-up and then they would be prepped for the photo shoot. This girl told me that they use strategically placed pads, extra high heels to make the models appear taller than they actually were and a lot of make-up and air brushing. And this girl told me that when the models would come in they looked extremely slender, pale, dark circles and kind of sickly. But in the pictures they looked radiant with flowing hair and rosey cheeks. I wondered if everyday women go these extremes or maybe just those in the spotlight.
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RE: Is this a concern for women? - 1/31/2010 8:00:35 PM
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Elena1030
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I used to make sure I wore makeup around the guy I had a crush on. We became friends in the same social group, and eventually, he saw me in all different states of appearance. That didn't deter us from getting together. We didn't get together as a romantic couple b/c we just weren't a good fit.
I used to have the concern that you describe, walkbygrace. But I realize that although I do look better and feel better with makeup on, it doesn't make me look wholly different. My skin blemishes are less noticeable, yes, but makeup doesn't change my bone structure or eye color (I don't use color lenses). And I wear my hair in various ways over the course of a year, so a man who dates me would see all these versions of me. (Just as I wear various types of clothing too.)
So... unless a man is looking for a woman with perfect skin (which I don't have), symmetrical facial features and structure (which I don't have), and blond hair (which I don't have and never will), then I think I have a pretty good chance of finding someone who's OK with me... makeup or not.
Now... will he be OK with the fact that I like vampire movies... and Pride & Prejudice? Well, that's a whole other topic!! 
_____________________________
"I like to stride, not mince." -- Maggie
Prayer thread for singles who desire to marry someday
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RE: Is this a concern for women? - 1/31/2010 8:11:07 PM
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walkbygrace
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Well, everyone gets older, wrinkled and some guys get fat too. I don't think I'm in danger of getting fat.  If I live to be 100 I don't think I'll ever be actually fat. Doesn't seem to run in my family...for the men anyway. And I know sometimes it takes guys to understand something a little longer than some women who get it right away, but I think most guys know better than to seek a trophy wife. Just not practical or real and the relationship doesn't last. I have seen guys marry trophy wives and they had the best looking wife on the block. But then, they had nothing but problems until they divorced. No, trophy wives don't work out too well. And yes, as you say deermousie...depends a lot on the guy I would guess.
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RE: Is this a concern for women? - 1/31/2010 10:10:39 PM
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walkbygrace
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This is true...I brought out a lot of things that I have known models to do. And I have seen women and known women who like to look through women's magazines "to get ideas" I guess. So I came here to ask "real women" and "christian women" how far do you go with all that is available for women. Would it be enough to change your appearance? Or would a guy still be able to see the real you? That's what I was curious about. Would this be an issue or not really? So far, the women I have heard from is no, it's not enough to change their appearance drastically. I'm just trying to hash out all the possible considerations I should have or expect if I were to meet someone and become seriously interested in them. Would this be an issue or no?
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RE: Is this a concern for women? - 1/31/2010 10:50:18 PM
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walkbygrace
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Elana...you are so funny But I do appreciate your candid response. Thank you. So far the responses have been very encourging. And no, I don't believe men are really looking for perfection in a woman. Why do women think guys are looking for perfection? I believe men...especially christian men are looking for honesty, confidence and many things that really don't have much to do with your appearance. Yes, men still look for women they are attracted to...but I think that is only intially. And yes, I knew one girl who wore colored contact lenses. I complimented her on her blond hair and she told me she had brown hair. She dyed her hair blonde. Ok, I told she had nice brown eyes. They were actually blue. She wore colored lenses. GRRR! At this point I decided to keep my mouth shut. But please, ladies...why do you do these things? And I want to apologize if I have offended anyone. That was never my intention. Nor did I intend on making any accusations.
A thread like this is the only place I can ask these questions. If I asked these questions face to face I probably would get slapped or worse. So you can be completely anonymous and help me figure out women, ok? Is this even possible?
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RE: Is this a concern for women? - 1/31/2010 11:30:45 PM
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walkbygrace
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I wish it were that simple Ps103 (hee, hee). I don't know much maybe about women and some of the things they do, but I'm not gutsy enough to ask to see a woman without her make-up. Judging by the ones that I have dated in the past they would look at me as if I just came from Mars or something. I could try it....if the situation ever came up.....but I don't know about that one. And he thinks it's fun? Isn't that interesting. Well good for you. Let him have fun then, I guess. I think a lot of guys are just curious about all of this stuff. I know when I sit around with some guys and we talk about a lot of different stuff, but when it comes to women we are all pretty much mystified. They are very curious creatures, ya know.
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RE: Is this a concern for women? - 2/1/2010 5:13:47 AM
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herestoresmysoul
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quote:
ORIGINAL: walkbygrace
Elana...you are so funny But I do appreciate your candid response. Thank you. So far the responses have been very encourging. And no, I don't believe men are really looking for perfection in a woman. Why do women think guys are looking for perfection? I believe men...especially christian men are looking for honesty, confidence and many things that really don't have much to do with your appearance. Yes, men still look for women they are attracted to...but I think that is only intially. And yes, I knew one girl who wore colored contact lenses. I complimented her on her blond hair and she told me she had brown hair. She dyed her hair blonde. Ok, I told she had nice brown eyes. They were actually blue. She wore colored lenses. GRRR! At this point I decided to keep my mouth shut. But please, ladies...why do you do these things? And I want to apologize if I have offended anyone. That was never my intention. Nor did I intend on making any accusations.
A thread like this is the only place I can ask these questions. If I asked these questions face to face I probably would get slapped or worse. So you can be completely anonymous and help me figure out women, ok? Is this even possible?
I agree with you walkbygrace, I dont know why women do it either.My son is 31 and he has a lovely fiance. She wears a tiny bit of make up if they are going out (maybe lipstick)but otherwise doesnt wear it.
The thing that my son says he doesnt understand is why women wear high heels. I know this isnt make up but they do change a womens appearance ie make them taller and make them walk differently. He says that women moan about how uncomfortable they are and have to keep taking them off and why do they wear them anyway? yes why do they?He doesnt find them at all attractive either.
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RE: Is this a concern for women? - 2/1/2010 12:46:04 PM
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BelleWeather
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quote:
ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom
quote:
I am sometimes shocked at photos of famous people when you see them without their make up and hair done. They look so different.
They sure do. Honestly, I have seen a few that look much, much more *beautiful* without all the additional stuff. They can fit into to society's idea of "hot" with the way they alter their looks, but "hot" isn't always very beautiful. 
Many of these women are made up to photograph better (A striking comparison is Oprah fully madeup, under the vanity lighting on the set of her show, and in the daylight of real life). Modern photography creates it's own distortion, and makeup can deemphasize some of that distortion--Right along with being photographed on your "best" side, turning you head to a 3/4 profile, tilting your head up or down, ect. Digital photgraphy makes makeup almost a constant necessity due to it's infintesimal accuracy. Many women feel the presure to maintain a youthful appearance under such scrutiny.
Were you to see women whose job necessitates the wearing of makeup--fashion models, dancers, and stage actors--they don't wear much makeup in real life, unless they know they are going to be photographed for publicity and PR.
I'm a professional dancer, and wear very little makeup in day-to-day life. Everyone has seen me without makeup, or completely madeup for competition. I remain the same person with or without false eyelashes and illusion netting.
Walkbygrace, your hesitation about the subject causes me to think you would avoid a "high-maintenance" woman. A woman that concentrates her attention on her appearance is concentrating her energies on the wrong thing.
If your concerns about the exterior of young woman, in specific or in general, have more precedence than her walk with God, then you may be concentrating your attention and worry about the wrong thing as well.
_____________________________
What lies behind us and what lies before us
are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
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RE: Is this a concern for women? - 2/1/2010 3:03:42 PM
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sunshine22
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I'd rather think he'd want me to keep my hair up, its a bit uncontrollable at times lol. I don't wear makeup...for the most part because I don't feel I need it to enhance anything. I do love lip gloss but everyone sees me without lip gloss everyday anyway. My belief is that I'm going to one day marry not just the man of my dream but my soul mate/best friend. If I can't let my hair down around him then something is wrong with that. But i'm sure he'd have already seen me without the glitz and glamor that it'll be a treat for him on the days when I actually get dolled up...minus the makeup (just can't do that to my face, I breakout). I do wear some eye shadow or mascara (when i'm not poking myself in the eyes) but otherwise, i'm au naturale. I do my own hair at home so that's not an issue...I do a pretty good job most days and if not i'll let my sisters do it lol. I'm not touchy feely about the superficial.
My friend likes to remind me that men are visual creatures...well...I think so long as he's being visual...I should stop doing anything to show I have good hygiene and see what he says then. Probably beg me to comb my hair or something lol.
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RE: Is this a concern for women? - 2/1/2010 3:14:12 PM
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Hislittleone
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From: The South
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quote:
Here is my question....if you meet a man and fall madly in love with him and marry him are you at all concerned that when you let your hair down and take off your make-up that you will look totally different to him? Is this a concern for women?
I don't remember being concerned about this much at all. By the time you marry someone you should have spent enough time around each other that they would have been able to see you without your full makeup on.
I look different without my makeup but I don't look like a completely different person.
_____________________________
Galations 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
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RE: Is this a concern for women? - 2/17/2010 12:17:52 AM
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dboe
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well I always wear make-up regardless I even wear makeup if Im not going anywhere all day (seriously I do) so I guess its fair. Actually I guess I wear it to much because my husband told me one day, I like it when you don't wear makeup...
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