|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
Login  | |
|
RE: How did you choose the person you married? - 11/20/2009 4:55:06 AM
|
|
|
deermousie
Posts: 2447
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: offline
|
Welcome to the forum, Brendentaylor!
I had a list in my head, the first item of which was godliness. I met him through a guy I did high school ministry with, found out he was a teacher in the same area I was, and had pretty much the same hobbies that I did. I asked around and found out he had a reputation as a godly man and good guy. He was also warm, smart and funny. All items on my list. It turned out I knew the gals that he hung around with, and they all said he was an honorable man. He was younger than me, which I wanted so I could grow old with my husband.
I'd never found such a good match or a guy I'd rather spend time with. He wanted me, and I wanted him. We "clicked."
His pastor knew both of us and thought it was a good match. The Christian counselor who'd done both of our career counseling and had the dirt on both of us thought it was a good match.
My widowed mother thought it was a good match, but that was because he wanted to marry me and he was breathing. You can't win them all. 
We've been married over two decades now. Neither of us knew what wrecks we each were when we got married, but God has been gracious and has hammered a lot of the nonsense out. It's been hard and it's been great, if that makes any sense. There's no person I'd rather be with than him.
At one point I probably legally had grounds for divorce and not everyone would have put up with me like he did, but we stuck it out and God blessed and has healed us both a great deal. Our marriage just gets better and better.
So I guess that's  ->  ->  ->
Maybe a lot of the people you know are in the middle of being hammered out and haven't made it to the happy consequences of their faithfulness, or maybe they gave up and quit.
< Message edited by deermousie -- 11/20/2009 5:06:27 AM >
_____________________________
People died to give you the Bible in your language.
Read it. Eat it. Dwell in it. Rightly divide it. Live it.
Laugh, dance, praise your God, and go read some more. And God bless you.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How did you choose the person you married? - 11/20/2009 5:25:49 AM
|
|
|
herestoresmysoul
Posts: 2131
Joined: 3/13/2009
Status: offline
|
I wrote a list of what I wanted in a husband and asked God to find me the right man.. After our first contact through an internet dating site, we met up in person within 4 days.. I knew within a week that he was the one that God wanted me to marry, and time has shown that he is everything that I asked for and more.
We married 9 months later and have now been very happliy married for 4 years. He is a miracle from God. It is a second marriage for both of us and we are both in our early 50's. I am a blessed lady and he is also a brilliant step dad to my three young adult children.
< Message edited by herestoresmysoul -- 11/20/2009 5:33:30 AM >
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How did you choose the person you married? - 11/20/2009 3:16:15 PM
|
|
|
michele_erin
Posts: 180
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline
|
Well, since you asked :) --- when I was single all my women friends were making their "lists" of what they wanted in a potential mate, and I remember thinking "hmm, maybe I should do that too." Then it occurred to me, doesn't God already know who my potential mate is? And God knows what I need best far better than I do -- so I submitted my will to God's will, and just asked not for the big list of things that I thought I wanted (I never made the list btw), but asked that since God knew what I needed, I wasn't going to tell Him what I needed, but just asked that He make it clear and obvious who He wanted my husband to be, and I was open to whomever he brought my way. Always prayerful of anyone who might ask me out.
So my now husband and I met in 2004. He was a client, and I wouldn't date him for that reason, but he didn't know that. He asked me out in May 05 -- I at first said yes, then three days later, said no because he was a client. I figured by the time he wasn't a client, he would have lost interest. In the meantime, I kept pursuing the Lord and things of the Lord. All the while, my husband was praying that if it was the Lord's will that He would make it happen. My husband was a patient man I tell ya!
So when he finally was no longer a client, he asked me out. I told him that I would need to pray about it and would get back to him. I figured that would either scare him off, but if he was okay with it then....hmmm... maybe. So the Lord gave me the ok, and we went and had coffee. Come to find out after several dates like that my husband was praying the same prayer. "God if this is not your will, please close this door." Whoa nellie! Prior to our dates, we continued to be friends, and we were involved in many of the same church activities, so I got to see him in many different surroundings, how he was with people, see that he had a life besides me, see that he had friends (godly wonderful friends), see how he was with kids, etc. This was definitely foundational.
I remember the exact moment that I realized I was in love with him, it was the same moment that he realized it too. We were at a Jazz restaurant, having the time of our life, he had that sparkle in his eye, and I remember looking at him across the table and thinking "I love him." Four months after that he proposed to me, and we were married 8 months after that (upon recommendation of our pastor because of our children), which was fine. We did a book study by Lee and Les Parrott (think that's their names) as part of our pre-marital counseling. We also saved ourselves for our wedding night.
Let me tell you -- it was worth the wait. No it hasn't always been easy, but no relationship is always easy, but if you put God at the center of it and you both seek Him, it makes a huge difference. God has truly blessed our marriage in more ways than I have time to write about. My husband is a kind, gentle, big teddy bear, strong, patient, plus many other qualities. For me it wasn't love at first sight -- not because of him, but because of me and past abusive relationships, and the ability to always choose the "wrong" guy. This time I opted for the "nice guy" and it is so worth it!
Again, no its not always easy, but if you get a good, godly man, chosen and approved by our Heavenly Father -- He is the best at choosing and knows exactly what you need. The man the Lord brings you may not come in the "package" you are expecting, but just remember that God does know you and He knows your future spouse, and He knows what you both need.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How did you choose the person you married? - 11/21/2009 5:47:55 AM
|
|
|
LovebirdsFlying
Posts: 103
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline
|
I can echo some of what car2ner said. I blew it the first time. How stupid was I, to marry a man I knew had a drug addiction figuring he'd stop, because he kept saying he would? How even more stupid was it that I married him *after* I'd even seen him slap his own mother? What made me think a man who would slap his mother wasn't going to beat the daylights out of me?
Later, like car2ner, I met my soulmate on the internet and now have never been happier.
I can only answer that I didn't choose the person I married. God chose him for me.
_____________________________
The one who KNOWS me best, LOVES me most
------Bill & Gloria Gaither
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How did you choose the person you married? - 11/25/2009 5:01:13 PM
|
|
|
ppodmama
Posts: 516
Joined: 10/31/2008
From: Midwest
Status: offline
|
is the question really....how do you know you should marry someone?
I met my husband in a rather miraculous way.
I was dating a total creepazoid (hindsight, you know) who was 2 timing me. His other girl would crank call me and harass me often. One time I decided to actually engage her in a conversation. We became friends and both dumped the zoid.
She (who was a Christian by the way) told me once that often when she talked to me she thought of a boy she knew for a time when she was younger. She didn't know if he still lived in town, but she'd call him and talk to him and see if he'd like to meet me.
I met my Matt and the night we met, we talked for 5 hours. I knew I was gonna marry this guy, my mom did too and 6 weeks later we were engaged....it's been 22 years....
And I know we were made for each other..I've seen it in even the most obscure ways possible.
You'll know, trust me, you will know.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How did you choose the person you married? - 11/29/2009 2:45:01 AM
|
|
|
jaimestarcross
Posts: 449
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline
|
I decided to ask the Lord to help me... because after the first bad decision
I made without His help... I decided it would be really smart to have the Lord sort out whom I should marry, IF I was to marry again because I had decided to back off and just do work, church, and spend time with friends as time allowed.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: How did you choose the person you married? - 11/29/2009 4:05:56 PM
|
|
|
spazlegs
Posts: 21
Joined: 11/29/2009
Status: offline
|
Well after the girl who I though I was in love with decided to marry a guy that I found out she had been dating while dating me, I just dated around a while. The youth group I was in went to a beach house with the girls in one wing and the guys in another. I met about three girls I liked a lot, and one girl in particular was special to me. I knew it was her when she told me she was a writer and showed me an article she had written. I was stunned to say the least, because I had asked God to let me a girl like her. I guess He said well how about that one. 25+ years later, she is still my wife and I adore her more now than when we married.
It hasn't been easy, but being committed is the way to go. There is such a joy in knowing that person is there and loves you even though they know everything about you. And the same goes for you knowing and loving that person.
Keep the marriage as a triangle with God at the top and you will not go wrong. That way the nearer you two get to God, the nearer you get together.
|
|
|
|
 New Messages |
 No New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/ New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/o New Messages |
 Locked w/ New Messages |
 Locked w/o New Messages |
|
 Post New Thread
Reply to Message
Post New Poll
Submit Vote
Delete My Own Post
Delete My Own Thread
Rate Posts |
|
|
Forum Tools
Printable Version
I didn't realize that some people were as messed up as he was and figured he was only going through a rough patch. This rough patch lasted for 22 years, on and off. 
