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Confused, Tired, Lost ... - 11/5/2009 12:32:39 AM
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babycorina
Posts: 7
Joined: 11/4/2009
From: Malaysia
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I have been searching and praying for answers to my life's problems. I was adopted at birth and was badly abused physically and emotionally. I had to go through life alone and had pay for everything that comes my way. My first love died in a plane tragedy and I was totally crushed because he was the one that lead me to Christ. The love we shared was so beautiful and not even 'tainted' with sexual intimacy believing to keep it for the wedding night. I tried to take my life and in those time when I was down, I met my ex but sad to say after 16 years of marriage, I never knew what true love is. My days are spent in loneliness, confusion and even tears. I did my part in providing, keeping and holding my responsibilities to my best ability. Now that I decided to end it, my family deserted me and even blamed me. I met men online but again, I was repeatedly hurt and lied to until I am beginning to feel that this world has changed from being beautiful to slowly turning to being cruel.
I need an advice on how to move on. I am having difficulty even to get out of bed these few months now and would cry without reasons. My mood swing can be so bizarre even I myself feel scared sometimes because I seemed to have reach the climax of being totally depressed and confused. I still pray every night but it would be a lie to say that I am close to giving up till even breathing brings me pain ....
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RE: Confused, Tired, Lost ... - 11/5/2009 2:20:18 AM
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NowIsntThatCute
Posts: 9
Joined: 3/3/2007
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Your post kind of peaked my interest. I have sometimes been confused, tired and lost but I have a very hard time trying to relate to all the tragedy in your life and really don't know how to respond. I have had bad times in my life but looking back at them they seem so insignificant compared to what you have gone through.
Have you considered counseling? Your last paragraph about having a hard time getting out of bed and crying without reason is kind of alarming and is raising some red flags that you might have some symptoms of depression. I have been there and had to be on Zoloft for a couple years. Depression runs in my family though.
I have a few bible passages that might help.
James 5:11 says "You ghave heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy". Job was a man who God allowed Satan to just tear him apart, Twice. The first time, Job lost all his posessions. The second time, Job lost everything but God did not allow Satan to take his life. Job Chapters 1-3 describe this series of events. In Job chapter 3, Job expresses the depth of his suffering. I have never really read or studied Chapters 4-37. They are arguments from 3 other people trying to explain to Job that he did something wrong or God is trying to teach him something. Chapter 38-42 is where God starts speaking about Job's suffering. God asks him questions about his creation and challanges Job to try and consider how great and Awesome God is. In the end, Job is restored, he worships God, prays for his 3 friends, and is richly blessed. God doubles his wealth and lets him see children to the fourth generation and died 140 years old and full of years.
Ecclesiastes 7 2-4 are kind of interesting. Hard times teach us a lot more than good times. They make us consider where we are going and what we are doing.
2) It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart.
3) Sorrow is better than laughter, because a sad face is good for the heart.
4) The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure.
2 Corinthian's chatper 1 verses 3-11 is where the apostle Paul talks about some of his sufferings. Paul even despaired for his life. I am sure he was even a little depressed during this time. Verse 4 says that God comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. If you are really depressed that probably doesn't help much, but Lord willing, 10 years from now you might by much happier and able to help someone in a similar situation.
Psalms 68, 77, 88, 139 and 142 might also be good reads.
The last and by far most important thing is you must be Born again. In Romans 10:9 Paul Says that if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and beleive in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead, you will be saved. Also, do not get bitter. I have gotten bitter before and it just makes stuff worse. Submit to God, trust him, pray and find some friends or family you can unload on from time to time. We had a sermon this past Sunday about Roman Legionares and the Armor of God. The Romans were very efficient when they fought. They always relied on one another.
< Message edited by NowIsntThatCute -- 11/5/2009 2:35:08 AM >
_____________________________
I used to have a horrible time finishing things but now I
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RE: Confused, Tired, Lost ... - 11/5/2009 10:42:35 AM
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deermousie
Posts: 2209
Joined: 9/26/2007
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(((((((((((((((Babycorina)))))))))))))))))))))
I'm so sorry you're having a tough time, dear one.
I wasn't adopted but I grew up with abuse and being hated, too. It's like dragging around a heavy weight, isn't it.
quote:
I have been searching and praying for answers to my life's problems.
Depression is usually a response to great loss, and you have had great losses. You were abused, you lost your love, you married a guy who didn't love you, and you're looking in the wrong places for love now and that's going to make it even worse.
Here's what I would do: call your family doctor today and tell the receptionist you need to see the doctor in the next day or two for severe depression. Tell her you can't hardly get out of bed (get an afternoon appointment). He'll get you started on some anti-depressants and that will start to help in a week or so. Then use the time as you start feeling a little better to make a difference in your life and choices so you can climb out of the hole you are in and make yourself feel better and get off the meds. Here's what I would change first: stop looking for guys, because right now you need to get yourself well, and a guy relationship demands you give and you are already stretched to the limit. So leave the guys alone for a while.
Go to your pastor (or get one - call around for a good Bible-teaching church. The secretaries are usually in the office Tuesday-Friday) and get some counseling on how to live a healthy lifestyle. This will be your "climbing out of the hole" information. Do what the pastor tells you to do. That will probably include, stay away from guys, start coming to church to worship God (God made us to do that and it will feel right after a while) and meet people who can be supportive of you, start praying ("God, I feel awful and lonely. Please help me. Thank You that You are God and love me and died for me. Help me love you better, please, and show me how to live, in Jesus' name, amen."), and (this is key) start reading the Bible every day. Start in Matthew (towards the back) because the New Testament explains the Old Testament, and get a version that you like (New International is good, so is New King James. I have trouble understanding the old King James). It will change your life as you think, "Oh, I can do that. Or God, please help me do that. Thanks for the great promises, too."
Here is something that will surprisingly help you feel better: do something nice for someone else. When you have the strength, look out for other people's trouble, and help them or just pray for them (God will move in response to your prayers, although it might not be what you expect. That's okay, He's God and He does good work in funny ways sometimes). When you start looking out for other people, how you feel inside will get better much faster.
And here's another thing that will help you feel better, surprisingly: start exercising. The mind-body-heart link is pretty strong. So go take a walk every day, even if it's only out to the sidewalk and back. Put one foot in front of the other, and make a little start. It will help, and you'll soon be able to do a little more as you feel better (which will make you feel even better).
I hear you, dear. I've been down this road, and I don't have to stay there. Neither do you. Make a step today and call the doctor. I'm praying for you. (((HUgs))) Let us know how it goes, okay?
_____________________________
"Through Gates of Splendor" by Elizabeth Elliot
"Federal Husband" by Doug Wilson
www.biblegateway.com for online concordance (I use it daily)
"Passion and Purity" by Elizabeth Elliot
And I think chickens are really funny
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RE: Confused, Tired, Lost ... - 11/5/2009 11:13:33 AM
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agapetos
Posts: 9721
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: This side of the lil duck pond!
Status: online
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quote:
Here's what I would do: call your family doctor today and tell the receptionist you need to see the doctor in the next day or two for severe depression. Tell her you can't hardly get out of bed (get an afternoon appointment). I agree with this ~ but see if you can also have blood tests to make sure here are no underlying medical reasons.
I also agree with you getting some kind of counselling/therapy. It sounds as though you have a great deal to deal with. Your pastor or your doctor will be able to give you advice. I'm seeing a secuar psychologist and have no problem with that ~ she (nor my doctors) have ever done anything to be anything but supportive and are respective of my faith.
You do need to avoid dating/online relationships with men at the moment. You don't say when you separated from your husband, but the pain from ending that relationship sounds fresh and you need to heal before spending more energy investing in another relationship.
There's a thread here that you may want to look at joining. Don't worry about reading all the previous posts, just jump in on the end.
< Message edited by agapetos -- 11/5/2009 11:21:45 AM >
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Maggie
September 09
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RE: Confused, Tired, Lost ... - 11/5/2009 7:27:43 PM
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babycorina
Posts: 7
Joined: 11/4/2009
From: Malaysia
Status: offline
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Thanks so much for the advice and the Bible verses. It's so difficult and it hurts but I promise to try my best to get my life back on track again.
Take good care and God bless you always!
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RE: Confused, Tired, Lost ... - 11/5/2009 9:45:16 PM
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mrf084
Posts: 243
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline
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You need a good Christain mentor as well. Someone further along in their walk that you can talk to about your struggles and your triumphs. We were designed for relationships that follow the model prepared for us by Christ's teachings. You haven't had these things modeled for you from what I can tell and have sought and found hollow relationships since the man who led you to Christ. What God desires is something way more intimate than anything it appears you have experienced yet. He wants to be your father, your confidante, your provider, your comforter, your wise counselor, your all in all. "I once was lost but now I'm found", and so can you be. God Bless
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